Flawsome ✔

Chapter 13 - Adding positivity

Friday, November 25th, 2016

After Calo left, I was left behind confused as hell. I didn't even break the kiss, but I don't have any romantic feelings for Calo whatsoever. Then again, I wasn't disgusted by a guy kissing me, or getting germs over me – though I did brush my teeth and flushed my mouth when he left.

I just don't know what to think of it. So, Calo is attracted to guys, so what? Why would he even keep that a secret, at all?

Unless it's the whole reason he got bullied in the first place.

And if he got bullied because of it, I get why he couldn't handle it anymore. It's one thing to get bullied for things you chose to do in a certain way. I think it's even worse to get bullied for something you can't change.

This town, however, is so religious, I get that he probably felt like an outcast. And the bullying might not be solely in school, but anywhere outside of it too.

I don't know any openly gay kids, at all. Which isn't solely because I have no social contacts with anyone. They're simply not openly gay because I would have known otherwise. They would've surely been bullied.

But Calo shared his secret in a very confusing way.

I mean, does the kiss mean he likes me? Or was it simply easier to kiss me to let me in on his secret, than spilling the truth out in words?

And why didn't I feel disgusted? Do I like boys, instead of girls? Do I even like anyone in a romantic way, at all? It's never really been on my mind because I had plenty of other things occupying my mind. I don't even know what it feels like to be in love, because I've never been in love with anyone.

Heck, I never even had a friend, so how would I know if how I feel about Calo, is purely friendship, or more?

"Neo, honey?" Mom asks with a careful voice, pushing my hair back. "You've been more occupied by your thoughts than you've been in a long time."

"I have a lot on my mind."

Off course I didn't tell her what happened. She asked where Calo went and I simply told her he had to go home because he was breaking down again. He needed a familiar environment, just like me.

And now we're parked outside in the parking lot to the healthcare office in which I have an appointment with Dr. Delgado. I did contemplate on letting mom call him to ask him to come over after work. But I felt selfish for wanting to take even more of his time away from Calo, who obviously needs his parents more than I need my psychiatrist right now.

"Let's just go in." I shrug. "Maybe Dr. Delgado can help me to organize my thoughts and then I would be able to explain what's been on my mind."

Mom smiles and nods, probably happy to hear me say I'm going to allow Dr. Delgado in on my thoughts, allowing him to help me.

We walk inside, and mom takes a seat while I tell the assistant that I'm here for my next appointment. She simply tells me to take a seat. Dr. Delgado will call me in as soon as he's available.

We wait in an awkward silence, while a kid across from us is shamelessly staring at me, his mom reading a magazine.

"Hi." He chirps with a squeaky voice. "Who are you?"

"Eh, Neo," I mutter, not wanting him to come any closer than he did already.

"And what's your name?" Mom smiles towards the kid, diverting his attention from me to herself.

"I'm Bobby. I'm six."

"Oh, so you're a big boy already." Mom keeps smiling, while I try to make myself impossibly smaller as he returns to stare at me.