little blue flowers

r.i.p.

I won't Rest In Peace
I'll rest in fields or meadows of starlight
wicker baskets full of fresh lilies, warm buttery rolls, and glass vials
to scoop up every ounce of living
I'll fall in love with tree frogs and soil
and when my Peace ends
a Chaos begins just as scheduled
I don't expect a final echo to last forever
but don't say Rest In Peace
I'll be Resting In Pieces below ground
fighting monsters
still conquering my demons
the valiant gladiator
a shadow of what she was
but nothing less.

I'll take up a blade
slash through the Chaos
even in death my arms feel the weight
of this spiderwebbing through me
bones crackling fire
teeth hissing steam
but I don't stop
can't, really
I need to find my Peace again with frogs and warm rolls and lilies and meadows
that misty daydream slips
but I grip the edges of it tighter
knuckles bleeding white
and tug.

Chaos reels
I've won this battle for now
and when I return to my fields,
a frog humming on my shoulder,
blade in hand,
it's gone
all of it shucked away with the harvest
leaving behind the soil and stardust
an endless canvas to paint upon
for the rest of
eternity.

and I won't Rest In Peace
there'll be plenty of that going around
with the epitaphs and well wishes
in another life
so in this one
I'll settle for Lounging in Chaos
and when it strikes up again
I'll set fire to the wicker baskets
place a lily in your hair
wish you well in all that you do
and plant myself in the soil
destruction in hand.