MY SISTERS BOYFRIEND

24. Mourning

                            Denver

Everything is falling apart. It's all out of place and I feel like my world is spinning. Xavier hates me and my own mother is mad at me. Paige hates me but that's nothing new. I want to pretend like I don't know what the problem is but I do.

  I drive home from Xavier's house in complete silence. Music always make me happy but I don't want to be happy right now. I want to mourn. Mourn the love that I've never had. Gross, just listen to me. One kiss from Ren and I'm talking about love.

Maybe, it's all just attraction. Ren and I barely even know each other. We only speak when my sister isn't around and most of the time It's rushed. My heart says something totally different. I always think about him.  He has absorbed my world and I like it.

Paige's wedding is so close that I can taste my own bitterness. Lately I've asked myself, Why her? If he thinks he is falling in love with me, why her? Why should Paige get the ring and happily ever after? I mean she did cheat on him.

In the end, it makes sense. Paige is perfect. At least on the surface and so is Ren. They fit and I need to accept that. Even if I don't want to.

I'm laying in my bed thinking about everything when my door opens. I look up and see my best friend, Kate. 

"Your dad let me in." She says with a smile.

"It's been awhile." I say with a smirk.

"Xavier called me." She says.

"Oh." I sigh.

Kate steps inside and shuts the door behind her. She walks across the room and sits on my bed.

"I didn't know you guys were a thing." She says.

"It happened kinda quickly." I said.

"That's a lie." Kate says with a loud laugh.

"What do you mean?" I ask with a frown.

"Girl, Xavier has been in love with you forever. It May have happened quickly for you but he has waited years." Kate says.

"I'm just confused with everything at the moment. Nothing is what I thought it was." I say sadly.

"Tell me all about it. You know I'll always keep your secrets." Kate says.

"I think I'm in love with someone." I state.

"Well shit. Who?" She asks.

"It's horrible." I say

"I've probably done worse." She jokes.

"Ren." I say queitly.

We sit in silence for a moment before Kate lets out a low whistle.

"Damn. That's some shit. How did that happen?" She asks.

"I'm not even sure but he kissed me and that's why things are messy with Xavier." I explain.

"What are you gonna do?" Kate asks.

"There isn't anything I can do. They are getting married soon. I have to let it go." I say.

"Bullshit." Kate says.

"What?" I ask.

"It's bullshit. If you love this guy, tell him. Paige is a horrible person." Kate says with a shrug.

"But She's my sister. No matter how horrible she is." I explain.

"So what? You really think it'll last? You know Paige. She doesn't settle. You really want to wait and date her ex-husband or steal her man now?" Kate asks with a serious expression.

"That's some logic." I say with a laugh .

Kate winks at me and stands up to leave.

"Seriously though, tell him. My brother has a Soccer game. So, I have to go, just wanted to stop by." Kate says with a casual wave and she's gone.

I think over my conversation ,through an uncomfortable dinner with my parents and Paige. Ren is convinetly gone. I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell Ren my feelings and then he has to make a choice.