Stars Align (Hamburr/Modern AU)✔

C H A P T E R T W O

What's wrong with me? Why do I feel so nervous? Why do I feel so bubbly? I feel... Happy? Yet I feel nervous... Am I going crazy?

I pulled my computer out and quickly opened Google. Why do I feel so excited about someone?

Alright, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing--- Love? No! No! I can't do that! I can't fall in love! I'm in a relationship! I'm not gay! What is this feeling? I don't... What else could I look for? Uhh... I guess I've never seen another dick before...I could look for... Uh... Porn, I guess... Hey! I see you being judgmental, I'm confused, alright?

I went incognito on Firefox, I browsed a few websites and—WOAH THAT'S A LOT OF PENIS MKAYYYYYYYYYYY.

I looked away, my face a bright red, although that's not the only place the blood rushed. I hesitantly looked back at my computer screen. Okay, all I have to do is to pick a video...what does it matter right and—okay...this is surprisingly not awkward.

Okay, this seems fairly simple, this isn't much— Oh, okay... I don't hate this, I... Holy shit I like this, oh god... I like this, this is... What's the word? I shouldn't be doing this, isn't watching porn considered cheating? No, no way. Isn't masturbation cheating too? I can't do that to Theodosia.

Okay, I'm alright, I-I'm sexually drawn to men, this is a problem... I-I can't like men. No! I'm not sexually attracted to men, there's no way in hell.

I hesitated but forced myself to focus on the video, my pants felt extremely tight. I closed the window and slammed my laptop shut before looking down and seeing my problem.

Son of a bitch, how did I manage to... Fuck I like men... Fuck I'm sexually attracted to men, I can't do this! I can't be gay! Hey, Aaron, you still have the chance to be bisexual. Okay, this could only drive you even more crazy.

C'mon, c'mon, you've gotta be kidding me! My fucking boner just went down because of that! I... I can't be gay! This is insane.

I felt my breath speed up, I picked my phone up; Alexander told me to call him if I felt like I was losing control. I waited patiently as thoughts of doubt flowed through my mind.

He doesn't care. He's just pitying you. Stop ruining his night. Just deal with your own problems. Just leave him alone and stop being---

"Hello?"

I inhaled sharply. "I-I have a problem." "Okay, it's alright. What's wrong, sir?" I stiffened. "I...I..." the words just wouldn't seem to pass my lips. "Hey, Mr. Burr, it's going to be okay, I'm coming home, I'm getting in a taxi. Just tell me what's wrong."

You're being annoying. Why are you being such a bother? You're making him come home because you're being selfish.

"Mr. Burr?" I hummed questionably. "I-I'm scared to t-tell you." I mumbled while curling into a ball. "Mr. Burr, you can tell me what's wrong." I heard movement and slamming of a car door, as well as the buildings address. "I d-don't want you to h-hate me..." I closed my eyes tightly.

"I won't hate you, just tell me what's up." I opened my eyes yet again, staring at the bed sheets. "I... I h-have a girlfriend b-but I think... I think I-I'm h-homosexual."

I tensed up and prepared to be sworn at and insulted.

"Okay, it's okay. Why do you think so?" I felt a pang of confusion rush through my body. "I-I uh... I looked some stuff up..." I felt my face go bright red. I glanced down at my pants, realizing this little issue wasn't going away any time soon.

"Hey, Mr. Burr, stay with me, I'm almost there I promise, then I'll help you alright?" I sniffled. "O-okay." "I'm right here, I'm walking into the building right now, don't forget that you can cry; I won't judge you." I heard Alexander walking. "Hey, dude I'm on the elevator. I'm gonna hang up, okay?" I nodded, even though he couldn't see it. "Alright..." "I swear, I'll be there within seconds." I sniffled. "I'm on my way, sir." *Boop* I put my phone down and started hyperventilating.

Breathe, breathe, in, out, in, out, in, out.

I heard the door open and after a few seconds, Alexander was in my room. "Mr. Burr, it's alright." Alexander sat next to me and put his arms around me. "A-Aaron..." I mumbled softly. Alexander hummed. "What?" Alex rubbed circles in my back. "Call me Aaron..." I repeated. Alex nodded. "So, tell me what's going on. You think you're homosexual, right?" I nodded. "You have a girlfriend right?" I nodded again. "Why do you think you're gay?" I struggled to keep my breathing steady. "I... I told you already..." Alexander nodded. "Porn, right?" I tensed up again. "Y-yeah..."

"Aaron, listen, I'm bisexual, I understand it may be hard to grasp at first, but I know that you'll find someone that will treat you right, and that will love you, and I will help you find out who your soulmate is, okay Aaron?" I nodded hesitantly. "Don't be ashamed, alright? Own it. I want you to go through life with the thought process that I will always help you, and I know we haven't known each other for very long but I feel a really strong connection to you, I want to help you find your one and only." I nodded and felt my breathing slow back down.

"I swear, I'll be here for you the whole time, I won't let anyone hurt you okay?" I nodded. "Do you want to hear some stuff about me? Would that make you feel better?" I nodded mutely. "Okay, uh... You know where I was born, you know about the hurricane, oh! My father left me when I was young and I got deadly ill along with my mother, I got better but she... She didn't. I only had two other remaining family members, but my brother died in the hurricane, and then I was handed off to my cousin, he then... Committed suicide and I...I knew that I needed to fend for myself. I started writing, people moved to kindness and raised enough money to get me onto a ship that brought me here, to New York. I had nothing at that point, so I was in this alley one day and... And my adoptive father found me and was kind enough to take me into his home." I listened to every word, my brain taking time to process the long backstory.

I heard Alexander sniffle. "Are you okay, Aaron?" I nodded and wiped my face before looking up to Alexander who was clearly fighting back tears. "You didn't have to tell me all of that if it makes you so emotional..." Alexander shook his head. "I just feel like I can trust you, y'know? I know that you can't relate to my problems but I still feel like I can tell you." I nodded and sat in front of Alexander. Alex placed his hands on either side of my face, he wiped my tears away with his thumbs. I closed my eyes and looked down shamefully.

"Hey, Aaron, I told you not to be ashamed. I'm not." I looked back up at Alexander, locking eyes with him.

"I interrupted your party. I apologize." Alexander shrugged. "I wasn't even having any fun, anyways. It was just a bunch of drunk college students." I, again, am almost positive that Alexander leaned in closer.

"Aaron, do you believe in love?" I shrugged. "I don't know what love is anymore.." Alexander hesitated but responded with a simple, "Alright." I couldn't look away from him. "Alex...I'm sorry..." I felt tears roll down my cheeks. Alexander moved his hands to my waist and pulled me into a hug, I just cried. It was hard not to. What else was I supposed to do?

"Shh, it's okay Aaron, I'll keep you safe, I won't leave you, I promise nothing bad is going to happen to you for as long as I shall live." Alexander rubbed my back. "I'm right here, Aaron." I finally returned the embrace, starting to cry a bit less. "Hey, I'm here. I won't leave you, I won't ever let anyone hurt you, okay?" I nodded. "I'll help you break it off with your girlfriend, I'll help you find a nice boyfriend, I'll make sure you can have a good relationship. I promise, okay?" I nodded.

Are these just empty promises? Is his gonna go back on this later? He's lying. Why do you believe this bullshit? Why do you believe it when people say they care? Nobody cared about you in the foster homes, nobody cares now.

"Aaron, breathe with me, c'mon, stay with me buddy." I sobbed violently for the next ten minutes solid, Alexander just kept telling me I would be okay. I calmed down and felt myself start to drift off into sleep. I was still awake and coherent enough to feel Alexander lie me down and move some things around in my bed, then eventually put the covers over me and place a hand on my cheek. "Oh, Aaron, what am I gonna do with you?" Alexander kissed my forehead, I tried my hardest not to blush.

"Goodnight, My Prince."