Stars Align (Hamburr/Modern AU)✔

C H A P T E R E I G H T

EdItOr WaS nOt MaDe AwArE oF a TrIgGeR wArNiNg ThAnK yOu VeRy MuCh

Look, I was sleepy and I'd been up since 8 AM, give me a break, I also totally forgot this was the chapter with the angsty shit in it.

⚠ Trigger warning! (self harm, self deprecation... The works.) ⚠

How difficult could another day of classes be? If something's gonna happen, it won't happen today.

I walked outside, catching glimpse of the two people I didn't want to see. "I- Ch-Charles, what are you doing here?" he smirked. "Tell your little boyfriend he's gotta go, we need to talk, and yes Johnathan needs to be here." I shook my head. "No, he doesn't Lee, we're done here." I began to close the door but was stopped by Lee pushing it back open.

Goddammit Alexander, where are you when I need you?

"What are you gonna do? Fake another one of those panic attacks?" I bit my lip. I felt an arm wrap around my waist, I looked to the side, seeing Alexander, with one hand putting in a different earring. "What's the problem here?" Alex asked before his opposite hand met his pocket. "Nothing Alexander. Go back inside. I've got this." Alexander shook his head. "I don't believe I've met this fine gentleman, I'm Hamilton, you are?" he asked, his question directed to Johnathan. "Johnathan Kelly." Alex nodded. "What brings you to our room?" Alex asked. "Your sex toy over here decided it would be a good idea to keep things from me." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not your property—" Alexander cut me off. "He's not my fucking sex toy. You do realize—" I cut him off. "Alexander, please." Alexander scoffed and retracted his hand. "Just as much of a pussy as before; you have your puppeteer fighting your battles." Johnathan included. Alexander had a rage in his eyes that I had never seen before that was honestly scary. "And you won't even let him do his job!" Charles added in.

Fuck- no- shit- stop it- these are the voices in my head but physically, I can't do this- no- make it stop

Alexander rubbed my back. "Alexander, you don't have to listen to all this bullshit, just c'mon and do this with us." Alexander froze. "Aaron, I need you to go in your room." I furrowed my brow. "What-" "Aaron. Burr. Go to your room. I've got this." I nodded hesitantly and walked off.

Alexander P.O.V.

The second I heard the door click, I smirked. "So, boys, what do you need from me?" Lee scoffed. "Nothing from you, I just need your sex toy to wake the fuck up—" I cut him off. "I dare you to say that one more time, you won't like the reprocutions." I warned. Lee stepped closer to me. "Say what? Call it out for what it is? Your sex toy wanting to fuck everyone in sight?" That was it. I was done giving chances.

I swung, my fist making quick contact with his jaw. I kneed him in the dick because I can, pushing him backwards. "Watch your fucking mouth." Johnathan looked at me in what seemed to be utter disbelief. "What? Not so powerful without your boyfriend?" Johnathan booked it, I chuckled and shook my head as Lee pulled himself together. "Some loyal team you've got there." I though aloud. "You just fucked up big time." I scoffed. "Hah! As if, I'd like to see you try."

"Really? Because I'd love a go." I punched him a few times, jaw, stomach and eventually swiped his legs out, getting a quick kick in there. "Do yourself a favor; fuck off." With that, I closed the door. "It's all clear Aaron." Aaron stepped into the living room. "So, what- holy shit your lip is bleeding." I put two fingers to my lip then looked down seeing blood. "It's no big deal. Let's go to our classes, shall we?" he nodded. "Alright, c'mon"

~Time skip~

I walked proudly, Aaron's hand in mine. He seemed pretty nervous. "Aaron?" He looked over at me. "You alright?" He nodded, although I knew he was lying. "Tell me what's wrong." "Nothing, just seeing the two of them really fucked me up." I nodded, wondering what was happening inside his brain.

~Time skip & Aaron P.O.V.~

I slid down the bathroom wall of our dorm, glancing at a pair of scissors.

C'mon, you said you'd do this when you got back, it's just to relieve stress. You'll do it once then stop. Alexander won't care; he never cares, he could never care, what sense would it make for him to care about you of all people?

I picked up the scissors flipping them open.

It's not that hard Aaron, just give yourself a reason for each one or something.

I pressed the blade to my wrist.

Holy fuck, I'm actually doing this. Nobody cares. Quit thinking and just do it.

I applied pressure, dragging the blade across my wrist, almost instantly regretting my choices.

Why would you do that? Really? How could you do something so ridiculous when Alexander could potentially love you? You deserve this. Keep going.

I repeated this action a few times and, of course, I snapped myself back into reality and switched arms. I sloppily added red lines to my opposite arm.

Okay, stop. That's a lot of blood. Fucking idiot.

I stood up and cleaned my arms off, the pain suddenly hitting me in the face. I hissed in pain, turning the water off and picking the scissors up, cleaning them off. Alright, game plan. Go to my bedroom, throw on a jacket, take my meds, and go to bed.

I picked up gauze, putting it in my pocket trying to conceal it. I took a deep breath and opened the door, walking to my room strictly. I closed and locked my door, taking my shirt off and snatching the gauze out. I stared down at my chest, remembering that I needed to go to the gym at some point. I looked back up, opening a drawer and pulled out a different T-shirt. I pulled the shirt on and then wrapped the gauze around my wrists. I looked at the blood leaking through the bandages, but I ignored it and looked away, pulling on a jacket and laying in bed, crossing my arms over my chest.

There was a sudden knock on my door. I sharply inhaled. "Come in." Alexander walked in, sitting down next to me. "Hey, you alright?" I nodded. "I love you, you know that... Right?"

What have I done? Shit-shit-shit.

I nodded. "Mhm..." Alexander kissed my cheek. "Do you want to sleep in my bed again tonight?" I shook my head.

"Oh... Alright... Goodnight then, Aaron." He stood up, an evident sadness in his voice as he walked away. "Wait, Alex." He turned around. "Can I keep my jacket on? I'm really cold." Alexander nodded. "Of course baby." I got out of bed and walked with Alexander to his bedroom. "I'm so sleepy." I yawned. Alexander smiled and stopped walking. "Get on my back, I'll carry you." I froze. "W-what?" He nodded. "C'mon, I don't mind. I want something to drink anyway, I'll get your meds on the way." I nodded and hesitantly climbed on his back. Alexander stabilized me, I put my hands on his neck. "Comfortable?" I loved how he pronounced each syllable in the word. I smiled and nodded.

"Mhm." Alexander started walking to the kitchen. "Aaron, you know I love you, right?" I nodded and hummed. "Do you love me too?" "Yes." Alexander smiled.

I love you more than I've ever loved anyone.