Stars Align (Hamburr/Modern AU)✔

C H A P T E R N I N E

I walked with my head down, jacket zipped up and Alexander next to me. I couldn't get my mind off of what I had done. "Aaron." I hummed, looking up at my boyfriend "Are you okay?" I didn't respond. "Aaron, what's wrong?" I sighed and nodded. "No, you aren't, what's wrong sweetheart?" I shook my head. "I'm fine, I'm not upset." Alexander laced our fingers together. "Aaron, please tell me what's going on before we go to class." I bit my lip. "Nothing Alex." Alexander squeezed my hand. "C'mon, quit lying to me." I sighed. "I-I'm just fine, just drop it okay?" I asked.

Alexander nodded in defeat. "Just... Please tell me what's going on if something is wrong." I nodded. "I promise I will." Alexander clutched my hand, walking extremely close to me.

"How much do you love me Aaron?" Oh god, so much. So, so damn much. "I love you so much, I love your hair, your eyes, your personality, you're just so amazing and so handsome. I'm so undeserving of you and your affection—"

"Stop, you're way more deserving of me than I am of you, I wish I could do more things with you. I want to go to the highest building and I want to shout to the whole world that you're my boyfriend. Holy crap, babe, let's go kiss in front of the college!" I laughed quietly

"Alexander, please, let's just stick with what we've got here for now." Alexander nodded. "Fine. We're here." I smiled, a realization suddenly hitting me. "Alex, I thought of something else l love about you?" he hummed. "There's nothing like your smile, sort of subtle... And perfect and real..." (Editor/Arandomperson519: He said you never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel) I nervously retracted my hand. Alexander took my hand again. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to act to needy." Alexander started moving his hand away, but I tightened my grip.

"It's really fine, Alex. I like holding your hand." Alexander flashed that smile, that beautiful smile that could brighten a fucking room. Alexander blushed, bringing me to the realization that I had said that aloud. "You're really pretty—that sounded weird. Shit, I'm sorry Aaron. I didn't mean to say that out loud." I smiled and kissed Alexander gently. "No sweat, I don't mind. I take it as a compliment." Alexander smiled wider. "Thank you Aaron." I nodded.

~Time skip to that evening~

I fought back tears and whimpers, due to the fabric of my jacket scraping against my cuts. Alexander and I were cuddling at the time, his arms around his waist and my arms were just next to each other although Alexander was holding me closely. "Aaron, what's wrong?" Alexander whispered to me, kissing my cheek. "Nothing, Alexander." Alex kissed my cheek again, moving his hands and putting them around my wrists, causing me to whimper, immediately regretting it.

Fucking dumbass, why the hell did you do that yesterday—huh? You know he's gonna leave you for this, right?

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't know that you were that sensitive." He apologized frantically. I shook my head. "I-I'm not, it's just... I-it's fine Alexander." He didn't respond for a moment. "Please, don't tell me this is what I think." Alexander moved backwards, sitting up, I followed suit and couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Aaron, show me your arms." I knew I wouldn't win this but I wasn't going down without fight. "Aaron." I hummed. "Show me." I shook my head. "No." Alexander sighed.

"Please, I need you to let me check this out." I shook my head, guilt surging throughout my body. "Aaron, please, if there's something wrong, please just tell me. I want to help you—" I cut him off. "I don't need help! I'm fine!" I blurted out randomly. "Aaron, please, I'm only going to ask you two more times." I shook my head. "Aaron, I won't be mad, I'll love you just the same but you have to help me to help you, because you aren't getting us anywhere."

He's lying, he'll fucking hate you if he finds out. You can't let him find out!

I shook my head. "Please show me you arms." He tried for a last time. Immense guilt showered over me as I finally just stopped trying and rolled my sleeves up, looking up at the ceiling, waiting to be told how weak and pathetic I am.

Alexander hugged me tightly, no words, he just held me. I felt tears stream down my face. I sharply inhaled as Alexander rubbed my back. I gave in, allowing the tears to flow down my face freely; Alexander simply hugged me tightly. "I've got you, don't worry."

He hates me, I know he does. He fucking hates me.

"Y-You don't h-have to stay with me i-if you d-don't want t-to deal with this.." Alexander simply tightened his grip on me. "I could never do something so stupid. I love you, and I wouldn't even dare think of doing anything of that sort."

"R-really?" He simply nodded in response.

What did I do to deserve him?

Alexander wiped my face. "Hey, Aaron, let's go on a date together, we'll have a good time, I promise; we can just relax." I nodded. "I like that idea." Alex kissed my cheek. "Let's clean you up, cool?" I hesitantly nodded. "Good. I'm gonna properly wrap your arms, okay?" I nodded.

"A-Alexander..?" I asked shyly, fidgeting with my hands. "Yes, love?" I felt a warm liquid drip down my finger so I, of course, looked down, noticing that I drew blood. However, I continued my actions. "I-I think I'm ready, not tonight, obviously, but... I just think I am." I informed quietly. Alexander rubbed my shoulder. "Alright, just say the word." Alexander stood up. "C'mon, let's go fix this up." He said referring to my cuts. I nodded and stood up, following Alexander to the bathroom.

We sat in comfortable silence as Alexander did whatever he was doing; I paid no attention. "Aaron?" I hummed. "You know I love you, right?" I nodded. "You know I would die for you right?" I hesitantly nodded. "Good. Alright, I'm all done. Let's head to bed, yeah?" I nodded.

Seriously, what did I do to deserve him?