do you remember...

15

After the awkward car ride to Jordy's house, I got out the car without saying a word.

I wasn't angry at him I just felt so stupid.

I quietly followed behind him hoping he'd make the first move. He opened the door and slammed it shut once I had come in. 

I walked straight up to his room to get the bathing suit I'd left here a couple days ago just incase we'd ever need it.

He followed shortly after me. He once again slammed the door shut and ran his hand through his hair.

I knew he felt the tension in the air too, but I didn't know what to say to ease it.

'I'm sorry.' He voice was faint, but I stopped rummaging through the drawers and stood up straight turning myself to face him.

'No I am,' I now exhaled looking down to my feet. 'It was stupid, I was stupid to think you would've wanted that.'

'It wasn't.' He said quietly but I shook my head I embarrassment and went back to getting out my bathing suit.

I heard him take a few steps closer to me as I finally pull it out.

I felt his hands on my hips and I relaxed when he hugged me from behind.

'It wasn't stupid, okay.' He whispers into my ear. 'Nothing you ever do it stupid.'

I nod my head slightly and he kisses the side of my head.

'Let's just not do that in the car yeah?' He turns me around and I hum in approval unable to speak.

I'm still looking down at my feet when he lifts my chin up and kisses me gently.

I kiss back almost instantly and smile at the feeling of his lips on mine.

'You going to change into that now?' He looks me up and down with a smirk.

'Yeah I will.' I say now with a sudden confidence that surprises us both.

I start to take off my shirt and jeans leaving me in just my basic white bra and pants.

I see him lick his lips and just as I go to unclip my bra, I move away from him making my way to the bathroom.

Once my back is now facing him I remove my bra showing him just my bare back and throw it behind me.

'That's not fair.' I hear Jordy whine behind me and I laugh.

'Life's not fair babe.' I say once I'm out the room and I freeze.

I knew he heard it because he was laughing but I didn't know if it was okay for me to say.

Were we even at the babe stage yet?

I try not to think about it and put on the kaki green bikini once I get into the bathroom and make my way back.

I didn't find him in his room though.

'Jordy?'

When there was no reply went downstairs.

'She's staying here tonight-' there was a pause. Saint must've already gotten here. I was about go up to him when he spoke again. 'Just come around midnight or before if she's asleep, you know where the key is.' Who was he speaking to?

I waited back a bit on the stairs other more. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but I couldn't help but have a feeling he wouldn't tell me if I asked.

'I'll be waiting for you-' there was a long pause so I walked to the living room when he laughed his angelic laughed said, 'love you too Cass, bye.'

He puts the phone down and I just stare at his back in shock.

I feel tears burn the surface of my eyes. I want to say something. Anything. But I can't.

He turns around and stops when he sees me.

'Silver.' He says sounding shocked and guilty at the same time.

I felt so exposed and lonely standing there in just a bathing suit.

We were both silent and I felt a couple tears slide down my cheek.

'No no babe don't cry.' He rushes up to me in the same place I'd been in for what felt like forever.

'You lied to me.' Was all I could say with a small smile.

'No it's not-'

'You told me you've never loved anyone, and all this time I thought it was me but it's her.' I sad laugh leaves my mouth.

'You're wrong.' He holds my face in his hands making me look at him.

'It's okay, really I just don't want to lose my best friend.' I silently shrugged. I was lying. It wasn't okay and I didn't just want to be his friend, but I didn't want to lose him so I said what I had to.

'Let me explain, please.' He pleads.

I walk past him and sit on the couch.

He joins me after a while and takes a deep breath.

'None of this is how it seems.' He starts. 'It's a long story.'

'We have time.' I say blankly but slightly hopeful on the inside.

'What do you want to know?'

'Everything.' I say obviously at his stupid question.

'Yeah, of course. Uh me and Cass grew up together. Our parents were high school friends and naturally we were always around one another.'

'Where are your parents by the way? I still haven't seen them.' I interrupted.

'The closest you'll ever come to seeing them is pictures.' Hurt filled his eyes momentarily but went away as quick as it came. 'Anyway when we were around nine years old her father died and her mum stopped working with my parents out of grief.'

'I didn't know her dad was dead.' I said more to myself.

'Her mum stopped coming to company events or brunches and birthdays. One night, a week after his passing, my family was having movie night and I remember we got a call.

I didn't know what was going on at the time, I just remember and hour later Cass was brought to my house. Her eyes were red and I could she was trying not to cry.

My parents said she could stay in any room she wanted and we would get it decorated however she wanted. I just thought her mum was on a business trip, but I was so fucking wrong.'