do you remember...

18

One month later

'Wake up baby.' I see strands of hair and a sharp jaw as I open my eyes to a blurred image.

'Fuck off.' Its my voice but I don't remember speaking.

'So lady like.' I slap him away from me. I see my hand moving but I don't feel it.

'See Mama Shay I told you she abuses me.' I hear his angelic laugh and I look up at him with loving eyes.

'Yeah well if you're planning on marrying this one then get used to a lot of that.' I turn my head to see my mother standing with a glass of milk and cookies in her hands.

I look down at myself and realise I'm not wearing any clothes only the silky satin sheets are covering me.

'I'll leave these here and be going.' She leaves the mike and cookies on my mirrored night stand.

'Hi stranger.' He goofily smiles at me and I feel my insides become all soft and mushy. Only I don't feel it.

'It's too early for this.' I groan. He's only wearing grey sweatpants when he slips under the sheets with me and I watch his hard body press on top of mine.

'You never have been a morning person.' He laughs kissing my lips softly. 'Merry Christmas babe.'

I kiss him back but I don't feel the butterflies I know I should. I'm confused. Christmas was still a day away. This doesn't feel right. This doesn't feel real. I'm living in a body without emotions.

I hear my name called out in the distance.

'Silver!' The voice is familiar and now shouting through my ears. I feel two hands shaking me awake.

I jump up, startled by my rude awakening.

'Calm down.' I say grumpily.

'Calm down?! You were shaking and crying again babe.' He looks at me with wide concerned eyes.

Fuck. I guess that's what it was. 'Oh I'm sorry baby, I must've had another bad dream it's okay go back to sleep.' I grab for my phone. I start texting Cass my dream. Or memory.

I've been having them a lot this past month and just to make sure they were all real events that had happened before the accident I tell Cass every last detail and have her do some snooping.

She asks questions here and there about the event that happened in my dream to the people that are in them without being too obvious. It's a lot easier when they don't include Jordy, because he gets really defensive and doesn't like talking about me, but since him and Cass are like brother and sister he tells her a few things when she asks.

They've all been real so far.

'Babe?!' My thoughts are broken and I snap my eyes away from the screen locking my phone as I finish.

I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to cause them false hope.

'I'm sorry I'm listening.'

He looks at me unconvinced. 'Are you okay, these seem to be getting worse every time are you sure you don't need to see someone. We can tell your  mum she can take you to a therapist. Or if you don't want her to know I can take you to our family therapist.'

'I'm fine Jordy. You're all the therapy I need.' I reassure him with a smile.

'I'm just worried.' I give him a small look and he can tell I don't want to talk about it anymore. 'It's 5am so just go back to sleep yeah.'