do you remember...

23

Merry Christmas!

He laid me down so gently and took his time looking at me up and down with so much adoration in his eyes I felt so safe.

'Say that again.' He says with heavy breathing.

Say what again? I looked at I'm confused until realised what I had done. I'd said it out loud. How did I manage to be so careless. 

Of course I love him, but I didn't think I'd ever able to say it. What if he didn't feel the same.

'Please.' He sounds more desperate his voice now whispering.

'I love you so much.' I say looking down between us unable to have my eyes meet his. He lets out a breath, a breath of relief? But he doesn't say anything.

'Are you ready?' Were the next words he spoke.

My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach and I immediately regret ever repeating myself. I nod my head at him and try blink away tears that threaten to leave my eyes.

'Are you sure?' 

'Yeah.' I say and try to force a smile. This isn't how I wanted it to happen. Of course  still wanted it to happen I just wish my head was fully into it and not wandering off and worrying about other things.

Other thing as in him not saying back.

Suddenly all the worries that filled my head leave me instantly as something else filled me.

A loud gasp left my lips and before I could stop myself I was screaming a whole load of profanities.

I knew it was meant to be good, but not this good. Nothing should be allowed to be this good, it's addictive. I take it this wasn't my first time then because I didn't feel one bit of pain. It was weird a first, unfamiliar, but that soon disappeared.

His hands roamed my body as his quick breathing would turn into grunts and groans every once in a while.

I don't know how long this has been going on for, but every minute of it felt better than the other.

I start to feel the knot in my stomach tighten and I wrap my legs around him tighter pushing him in further. My eyes roll to the back of my head as I feel a wave of pleasure take over my body.

'Oh my god.' I scream running my nails down his back.

'Look at me.' He pants moving his hand to hold my face.

I let my eyes meet his somehow.

'I love you more than you could ever imagine.' His lips brush against mine.

My eyes widen but just as I open my mouth to say something I feel my second release fully take over my body and the words are stuck at my throat and I grip the sheets instead of his back this time. 

It isn't possible for it to happen again. I hear Jordy say something but I don't listen as the fascination of this new feeling clouds my mind.

'Fuck.' He says under his breath and his thrusts become faster, and before I knew it he finished and I was starting to regain consciousness.

He falls to his back beside me. Every then comes back to me. 

He said it back. I probably sound pathetic in my head but I can't help but smile.

I turn to face him and so does he.

'You're so beautiful.' 

'Say it again.' I dismiss his comment, I needed to hear him say it again.