do you remember...

21

hi i am the literal definition of trash. i'm so sorry. i lost my account for a bit then i got it back and i've been back to school. but my half ass excuses don't excuse that i haven't updated so here it is :) and if you're still acc reading this trash like AcTuAlLy thank youuuuuu

I didn't want to think anymore. I've been thinking too much and I just want to shut off all my thoughts.

I had closed my eyes, not to go to sleep or anything but to avoid having to talk to Jordy.

He's been sitting opposite me at the foot of my bed for what felt like hours now.

There was a knock at my door, and I heard my mum come in and asking Jordy if I'd woken up yet.

They exchanged a few words they I wasn't too bothered in listening to and soon enough she was gone.

'Baby please get up.' I felt him place a small kiss on my head.

I ignored him pretending to stay asleep.

'Come on princess, I know you're not asleep.' He was now lying in front of me with his chin propped up against my stomach.

I still refused to open my eyes. 'Your breathing is too quick, your eyes are to clenched shut and you don't have that crease you get between your brows when you sleep, so please just talk to me.' He sighed making me smile.

He really noticed all those things. He kissed my stomach a couple times making my smile want to widen more but I managed to contain myself.

'What do you want to talk about?' I say unsure what to say.

He looked up immediately once he heard my voice. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah.' I was, now that I wasn't thinking about it.

'I'm sorry, for not telling you, for still talking about him like even after what he'd done, for making him sound like a saint when I knew who he really was. It wasn't right of me not matter how genuine my intentions were. I know you're not okay, and I hate that you aren't. I wish I could just take it all away, but I will be here with you until it does get better.'

My heart throbbed, he was too kind too perfect to be wasted on such a broken soul. I wanted to pour my heart out to him but the numbness inside me took over and all I could say was, 'I told you I'm okay.' And with a small smile the only thing I could do to show my appreciation was to get up out of my bed to hug him.

Just one big bear hug that made me never want to let go. I kissed his jaw while still squeezing my arms around his neck making sure he was real.

'You're stopping my circulation.' He joked and I loosened my arms pulling back a bit so our noses were touching. I was sitting on his lap and I accidentally rubbed our fronts against each other.

He chuckled, 'everyone's downstairs, they just finished with Christmas Eve dinner. They want to know if you'll join.' He said hopeful I'd be up for it.

Unfortunately I wasn't. 'I'm not really hungry, I'll just stay up here but you should go down.'

'Come in its a tradition.' I looked down at our laps and he lifted my head up with his hand. 'Hey listen to me, don't let that low life ruin you Christmas okay. Plus I'm not going down without you and you wouldn't want me to starve, I'm a growing boy I need my food.'

I laughed giving in. 'Okay I'll come, under one condition.'

'And that is?' A suggestive smirked played across his lips.

I began to grind my hips against him feeling him get hard through his sweat and mine that he'd changed me into once we got home.

I came close to his ear to whisper, 'I get to suck your dick tonight,' I paused and rubbed myself harder against him, 'feels like you need it.' I shrugged getting off him leaving him flustered and speechless.

I made my way to the door and heard him chuckle and mutter a few words like fuck and unbelievable.

I looked back at him. 'Anytime today would be good. The sooner we get this dinner over and done with the better.'

I made my way downstairs and was greeted by a beautifully set table that made me want to eat it all alone.

I decided that I would just forget about whatever happened today and pretend like it never happened.

'Something smells good!' I shouted walking into the kitchen only to be pushed out by my mum and Joey.

I laughed as they shoved me down to sit down at the table so I couldn't bother them, soon to be joined by Jordy himself sitting to my right and Cass sitting to my left.

I looked up at her and she had a guilty look on her face. I leant in to her giving her a hug. 'Don't worry about it babe, it never happened. We'll talk later.' I whispered in her ear. She gave me a small smile and I returned it before looking back at Jordy who had a cold hand resting on my thigh.

I could feel how cold he was through my sweats. 'Why are you so cold?' I asked now turning my whole body towards him, concerned.

'Because your mum had the fucking AC on.' He laughed. 'How are you not cold?'

I chuckled at his words and shouted for my mum to turn the air conditioning off. I didn't want Jordy to be cold, plus it was December why are we using the AC.

'What are you thinking about?' Jordy whispered to me.

'Air conditioning.' I said seriously.

'Oh my god Silver, you're that bored?' He laughed and I nudged his side dismissing the thought.

'Dinners ready!' Joey shouted walking into the room. 'Eat it with love and care because this year I made it.' My mum coughed really loudly. 'Okay she made it but I helped.'

I laughed looking down at the food it looked delicious but I just didn't think I had the appetite to eat right now. So I just filled my plate a bit and hoped no one would realise I hadn't touched it.

When everyone was finally down with their food we all sat in my living room and however childish it may sound, we were playing truth or dare.

'Okay so Mama Shay is out which means if you don't answer your truth, you drink and do a dare.' Jordy says, as him and take a seat on the floor with the others.

I put down the shot glasses and he put down a bottle of vodka and tequila.  

'That's not fair we all know, you and Silver don't get drunk, you'd basically be drinking caprisun.' Saint complains.

'Actually Silver does get drunk now.' I interrupt him.

'Ten shots got you a bit tipsy I wouldn't count that as getting drunk in their books.' Jordy says.

'Okay whatever let's just play.' I rush them getting the bottle and spinning it.

It landed on Saint and my eyes lit up, knowing what I'd ask him straight away.

Fear flashed in his eyes when he saw my face and I spoke before he could.

'What was that Saint, you'll take truth okay.' He was shaking his head slowly making sure no one noticed. But I still continued, it was about time he grew a pair and told Jordy about him and Cass.

'Who's this special girl you're seeing, please tell us all.' I smiled sweetly at him.