Fix Me || Jerrie

Chapter 10

Jade's POV

"I saw Perrie yesterday." I stated, breaking the comfortable silence we'd been sitting in for the last 5 minutes. Both Jesy and Leigh Anne turned to look at me. Their faces were expectant; they were wanting more details. "It was when I went to buy some food. Her kid was with her."

"Did you talk to her?" Jesy asked.

"Yeah." My voice was emotionless.

"And..." Jesy raised her eyebrows at my one word response, clearly she wanted all the details.

"She said she was sorry and that she missed me. I told her I still needed more time and she said she'd give me anything I needed."

"Sounds like she really is sorry Jade." Leigh Anne replied softly.

"I know she's sorry." I really did know that Perrie was sorry and I knew she genuinely would do anything to fix the mess we currently found ourselves in.

"I still don't think you should forgive her. I mean she kept a massive secret from you - clearly you can't trust her." Jesy stated, barely removing her attention from her phone.

"I miss her." My voice was soft and laced with sadness. I'd chosen to ignore Jesy's comment. After her ex had used her to make his ex girlfriend jealous she was very cautious about trust.

"You need to talk to her Jade." Leigh Anne stated firmly.

"I know. I do want to talk to her but I don't know what to say."

"You'll think of something Jade. From what you've said you and Perrie are so comfortable around each other and you both get on really well so I know you'll think of what to say when you actually properly talk to her."

"I really liked her."

"Look Jade you either need to be brave and talk to her or stop moping around and get over her - your choice." Jesy said. I didn't realise she was still listening to the conversation.

"I don't want to get over her. When I saw her yesterday all I wanted to do was run over and wrap my arms tight around her and never let go but I'm scared and I guess I'm still a little bit upset. I don't know what to think about the whole thing."

"Then there's your answer." The way Jesy said that made it seem like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I think you need to work out why you're upset. Like, if it's because she has a kid or because she didn't tell you cos they are completely different and then you need to talk to Perrie. You're not going to get any answers and you'll still feel shit if you don't." Leigh Anne commented.

"I'm not upset that she has a kid, I think it's because she didn't tell me - I feel like she didn't trust me or something and I really want her to trust me. Like I know Perrie having a kid massively changes things and I know that our relationship isn't going to be easy or the same as it would have been if she didn't but she's still Perrie and I still want to be with her."

"No relationship is easy Jade. You always have to work at them, it just means you and Perrie might have to work at different things than you would have if she didn't have a kid." Jesy put her phone down when she said that and I knew now that she was now fully involved in the conversation.

"Yeah Jes is right Jade. If it's not the kid that's bothering you then you need to talk to Perrie cos only she can tell you why she didn't tell you. It might not be because she doesn't trust you - maybe she was scared. When my sister found out she was pregnant she was 21 and she said the hardest part was telling people because she was worried people would judge her or decide to have nothing to do with her anymore. Perrie's even younger so maybe it's even harder for her; quite often teenage pregnancy is viewed as a bad thing and you don't know what else has happened so maybe she's just scared." Leigh Anne's words seemed to make sense to me and I realised it was harsh and unfair of me to make a decision and ignore Perrie without talking to her first. It hurt me to think she might of thought I might leave or judge her because I would never... but then I guess I sort of had left her by ignoring her for 3 weeks once I'd found out. I hadn't known Perrie very long but I knew that I never wanted to hurt her and I definitely didn't want to leave her. The kid was something I knew wasn't a problem: I'd have Perrie with 200 kids if it meant I could have her. I also knew that I could never be with Perrie if I didn't accept her little girl; that little girl was her entire world and I could see that clearly in her eyes and actions when she was around her and also in her voice when she spoke about her.