I couldn't stop the tears. I've been standing in front of him shaking my head side to side. I didn't know what came over me. "Please stop crying love," he pleaded with me. I tried to make my breath steadier, it didn't work. I was thinking of all the horrible outcomes of what might happen if accept the ring.
I didn't want him hurt.
He took me in a warm embrace and tried to calm me down. I stopped crying, but my breathing became more uneasy. He kissed the top of my head and drew my head to his chest closing any space between us. "Are you alright love?" He wondered concern evident in his voice. I nodded trying to breathe and calm myself enough to form words. I took a deep breath and answered, "yes, darling, I'm fine. I love you, I really do. It's just..." I paused. "What is it sweetheart?"
"You are making these promises to me that you can keep but, I'm not sure if I can," I finished. "Hey," he began, releasing his grip on me to look into my eyes. "Y-you don't need to promise anything you aren't comfortable with. I just wanted you to know that I'm willing to make that promise and that I am going to keep with me and take it to my grave," he assured me. He gently brushed my cheek and cupped the side of my face in his hands, kissing my forehead.
He took my hand that had the ring on my finger. His ring. His promise to never leave me, even though I might leave him. We walked back inside the house and Sydney clung to my leg. "So She said yes?" I nodded taking in a deep breath. I couldn't make a fool of myself in front of Declan's cousins. Many people would kill to have a relationship like Declan and mine, although, it's different when you aren't sure if you will live to have a deep connection with someone and if you will have enough time to live a fulfilling life with the one you love. I should've never loved anyone. It's so difficult because Declan is just perfect.
"Dec, I love you, s-so much, I just don't want to start something that might not be able to be finished..." I whispered in his ear. "I know love, that's why you don't need to promise anything until you are ready and sure of an outcome," he replied placing his hand on my thigh. I smiled at him, keeping my skeptical thoughts to myself.
"Just enjoy life in the moment and stop worrying about the future," Declan told me "just once!" He finished. I could tell it wasn't easy for him to have me always worrying and never wanting to do anything with him because I'd be too scared that I'd leave.
"Okay, you're right darling I keep worrying. I should just stop and enjoy life and what's happening in it now," I agreed. He grinned and touched my cheek, "good," he answered. At that moment Sydney came over to me and I picked her up. She rested her head on my chest and began to play with strands of my hair. The present isn't really that bad.
Declan's POV
When I told her she can take her time to decide, she smiled. Her eyes didn't show happiness, it showed skepticism and I knew her too well for her to get away with that. She's always so worried and has all these emotions bottled up inside. Late some nights I hear her sobbing in the bathroom. She hides her brokenness well but she's my girl and I can read her like an open book.
She always keeps her guard up and thinks she can handle things herself but sometimes she needs comfort. I tell her this and she denies it. I wish she would take down her walls and let me help her. I don't like seeing the love of my life depressed and worried if she'll live to see the next sunset.
It scares me that she thinks that way.
I try showing her affection and I try telling her and showing her that I care for her and I want to be with her. She puts her armor down for a short period, then she resents the fact that I care. She doesn't want to show affection or leave an imprint on people, she doesn't want others to get attached to her and then she needs to leave them. It's a little late for that with us. She's made a mark on me that I could never take away.
Even if she did leave me, I'd be broken but then I'd remember our memories and how amazing of a person she was. I really do have faith that she's going to live. The doctors are smart, I trust them so I vow to remain optimistic. For our relationship's sake. She's my world and I need to be her rock when she feels like everything is crumbling underneath her. Seeing her with Syd made me really happy. I pictured her and I as parents in a nice cozy house with two little kids running around. I really can't imagine what life is like without her.
How did I even live without having my other half with me at all times?
Vera's POV
"Okay, I think it's time we get going, thank you for having us!" Declan declared taking his eyes off of me. Sydney began to whine and I kissed her head placing her down. "It was nice to meet you all, thank you for everything," I called as Declan grabbed my hand, guiding me out the door.
He opened the passenger side door of his car for me. The then went to the driver's side and strapped in. He took my hand and kissed the back of it smiling. He dropped my hand and kissed my cheek. Why's he being EXTRA sweet to me? He put his car into drive and we headed back to the hotel. We got hungry so we stopped at a fancy romantic restaurant called Clos Maggiore to eat something. He treats me like a princess, I don't deserve him.
As we reached the hotel room door I rushed in to take a shower. As the hot water ran down my face and the steam ran up my body, I began to sob. I'm not ready for all of this and I felt overwhelmed. I feel so weak when I cry and I hate it because I'm strong but now I'm vulnerable and it's the worst. Declan knocked on the door, "love?" He called. I tried to stop my voice from wavering as I said "yes?"
"Are you okay? I thought I heard cries..." he paused, waiting for my answer. "I'm fine darling I just...got soap in my eye and it stung," I responded. It wasn't a total lie, I get soap from my shampoo in my eyes all the time. "Oh, alright..." his footsteps faded away and I began to quietly cry.
I'm so weak and useless. I can't do anything.
I turned the water off and I sat at the end of the tub, feeling nauseous. I then moved over to the toilet lifting the seat up. Sure enough leftovers from Chick-fil-A came to visit me. "Love...?" Declan opened the door concern evident in his eyes. "I'm fine," I choked.
"NO! No you aren't! I want to help you, you haven't been yourself and I'm worried! I want to be there for you but you won't open up to me! Please! I want to help you, just open up and tell me what's wrong," Declan pleaded with me. I shook my head, "Dec! I said I'm f-" More leftovers, I couldn't get my sentence out. He came over to me and held my hair back, tying it in a tight bun. "Baby, please, you clearly aren't okay." His eyes were watering and I couldn't keep it from him anymore. "I-I love you! But, you deserve someone who you will be with till you both are gone, it will be a long time from now. With that one special person. It's not me," I finally told him.
A tear slipped down his cheek, "w-what are you saying," he wondered, his voice cracking. "You know what I'm saying. I think we should break up. I'm not good for you, I'm keeping you from living a normal life..." I could barely finish the sentence without bawling. "I'm sleeping in the second bedroom with the spare beds." I finished walking out of the bathroom grabbing water from the counter as I closed the door on him.
He rushed out after me. "Vera! Please!" He cried. I looked back, I really shouldn't have. Those eyes get me every time! "I said I can't be with you Declan," I calmly answered facing straight forward again. He grabbed my hand and touched my cheek. His hands fit perfectly in the curves of my face. I turned my cheek away and he released his grip on me. I sped over to the spare bedroom and locked the door behind me. I could hear his sniffing and occasional cry escape from his lips outside of my door. It stopped and I heard the opposite bedroom door close quietly.
I sat on my bed for a solid hour-if not more-just crying. Did I make the right choice? Should I take back what I said?
No.
It's what's best for him. I don't want him to throw his life away just for me! It's better this way.
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I wrote a long chapter for you all. You're welcome! I'll probably write long chapters but they'll take longer to write so it might be a while again. I hope you enjoyed!
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QOTD: do you think Vera made the right choice?
YOU ARE READING
22 Days|✔️
Fiksi RemajaCOMPLETED (Bonus Chapter coming soon) Vera has 22 days to live. She has a disease that is slowly killing her. The doctors are unable to identify what it is. She is spending these last days of her life doing what she desires before the chance is gone...
