Can't Remember To Forget You

Chapter 34

{ Harry's POV }

"We'll get through this together," I tell Avery over and over again. It's killing me that I can't tell what she's thinking or feeling right now, but I need her to know that I'm with her, by her side, until the end. And that end will be a very long time from now.

Her face is sad when the doctor finally enters the room. "It's good seeing you awake, Avery. I'm Doctor Raymond. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know," her voice is raspy as she shrugs. "I feel uncomfortable, I guess. And tired. A little sore."

"That's normal," the doctor assures her. I sit back in my chair but don't let go of her hand as the doctor asks her countless questions about how she feels. I can't take my eyes off of her, but when doctor Raymond says, "Well at least we have some good news, the one round of chemo you did earlier this week seemed to do the trick. The osteosarcoma is in remission," my eyes go straight to his.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"100 percent," he smiles. "It's a miracle really, but catching it so early saved your life."

I peel my eyes away from the doctor and look at my girl; she looks so weak, yet beautiful as ever. "Did you hear that, baby?" I whisper and kiss her cheek. "You're going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay." I don't know whether I'm trying to convince her or myself.

"Then why... Why am I here?" She asks, her voice small. "What happened?"

I frown thinking of her passing out in her closet, alone. I glance at the doctor, and wait for him to tell her, because I don't want to. I can't be the one to break her the news. To possibly break her heart more than I already have.

I'm supposed to be mending it, but she just keeps getting hurt.

Doctor Raymond sighs. "You suffered a miscarriage, Avery. The episode had nothing to do with the cancer. You had lost so much blood that you passed out. You must have hit your head and that really knocked you out... I'm sorry, Avery."

"What?" She gasps, her face pale with horror. "A miscarriage? No, I wasn't... I wasn't even pregnant." Avery's voice is shaky, confused and scared, and it's then when I realize she didn't know either. I was upset that she didn't tell me she was pregnant, but now I know why-because she didn't know either.

"Maybe it was for the better you didn't know... You didn't have time to get attached," the doctor offers.

I ignore his presence and turn to Avery. A lone tear has escaped her eye, and she looks so broken. "I didn't know, Harry."

"I know," I know that now. "It's okay, Avery, you didn't do anything wrong."

All she does is shake her head. And cries. She doesn't look at me, just stares straight ahead and cries quietly, as if she's trying not to let it show.

"I'll give you two some privacy," Doctor Raymond announces. Just before he leaves the room he turns to us. "We'll do a more thorough check up tomorrow. The best thing for you right now is rest, Avery. If you need anything, press that call button."

I nod for her and he finally leaves. "Avery... Talk to me."

She shakes her head again, and I can see her pushing me away, distancing herself from me. That's exactly what I don't want.

So I take my chances and sit next to Avery on the hospital bed, slowly easing myself closer to her and laying on my side to look at her. I haven't seen or touched her in two weeks, and I'm about to lose it. Now this is happening on top of everything and I don't know if I continue being strong for the both of us.