Secrets•lil Pump

43

*szas POV*

'I know you so well, so well
I mean, I can do anything that he can
I've been pretty...
I know you're somewhere, somewhere
I've been trapped in my mind, girl, just holdin' on
I don't wanna pretend we're somethin', we're nothin'
I've been stuck thinkin' 'bout her, I can't hold on

I'm in pain, wanna put 10 shots in my brain
I've been trippin' 'bout some things, can't change
Suicidal, same time I'm tame
Picture this, in bed, get a phone call
Girl that you fucked with killed herself
That was this summer and nobody helped
And ever since then, man, I hate myself
Wanna fuckin' end it, pessimistic
All wanna see me with no pot to piss in
But niggas been excited 'bout the grave I'm diggin'
Havin' conversations 'bout my haste decisions
Fuckin' sickenin'; at the same time
Memories surface through the grapevine
'Bout my uncle playin' with a slip knot
Post-traumatic stress got me fucked up
Been fucked up since the couple months they had a nigga locked up

I'll be feelin' pain, I'll be feelin' pain just to hold on
And I don't feel the same, I'm so numb
I'll be feelin' pain, I'll be feelin' pain just to hold on
And I don't feel the same, I'm so numb'

I started to vibe to X's song and I was dancing in front of the bathroom mirror. I didn't notice Gazzy standing in the doorway smiling. I turned around to see him.

"Oh hey babe" I said pecking his lips and then going back to my makeup. He came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I bit my lip, applying my mascara.

"What you getting ready for?" He asked me. I looked at him from over my shoulder.

"The video shoot for broken clocks" I cutely smiled and pressed myself closer to Gazzy as he was standing behind me. I turned to face gazzy and  played with his dreads. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. We started to make out as he walked backwards towards the bed. He laid me on the bed, but I started laugh.

"Gazzy I have to be at the video shoot in 35 minutes"

He sighed but also knew I had to go. "Ok, fine"

****

I got in the car and started the engine Gazzy kissed me goodbye. ...

As I drove down the highway there was 15 minutes left to get to the shoot location. I got a call from nahm and answered it.

Me: hello??

Nahm: hey siz

Me: hey namh what's up?

Nahm: can you come over anytime soon?

Me: uhh yeah tonight after my broken clocks shoot.

Nahm: ight see you

Me: ight bye

****

'Run fast from my day job
Runnin' fast from the way it was
Jump quick to a pay check
Runnin' back to the strip club
I'm never going back, never going back
No you can't make me
Never going back, never going back (nah)
They never take me (yeah)
I've paid enough of petty dues
I've had enough of shitty news
I've had a thing for dirty shoes since I was 10
Love dirty men alike

Ooh
Better day than yesterday (keep cuttin' up)
Ooh
I just take it day by day
Ooh oh oh
Never hearing what they say
Ooh ooh
I just do it my way

All I got is these broken clocks'

I was halfway through the video shoot when I had the sudden urge to throw up.

"Stop the cameras!" I need as I ran off the set and into the bathroom. Nothing happened but I knew I couldn't shoot anymore. We had already done 4 scenes so it would be ok to come back tomorrow.

Rebecca one of the team managers came into the bathroom to see my mascara leaking down my face.

"Oh honey do you need to go home?" She asked me. I nodded vigorously as she walked me out to my car. The team all wishing me to feel better. We set up a time for tomorrow to film.

As I was driving I turned down the street towards nahms house since it was close. He let me inside. We had been talking for a while.

"Nahm, I'm not tryna be mean but I'm not feeling so good so let's hurry this up. You obviously called me for a reason!"

He nodded. "Im-im in love with you"
____

And at this moment Sza realised she fucked up. 😂😂I'm jp y'all it's a cliff hanger and the next chapter won't even be about this so yeah. But get ready for this story to take sum turns. Love you guys