Secrets•lil Pump

59

3:00 p.m
*Szas POV*
I drove all the way back to our house for one last time.

I ran up to the safe in our bedroom and grabbed the surprise I had been keeping for the last 4 days. I know I was supposed to wait for 16 days but I can't. I just can't make myself do it. I wanted to get their before any of the boys. I hopped in my car and started the drive.

At the lake
6:00 p.m

As I sat by the lake I realised I had a very long time before I'd be getting anything done so I decided to watch the sun set. It soothed me in a way I didn't understand. It was so calm. And it stayed the same every day. It rose and then it set. Just like that.

Perfect.

I watched the geese swim in the water with the most fluorescent body movement.

I just layed there enjoying nature. Just enjoying it. Because...you never know what could happen.

9:30 p.m
I woke up just before the boys could walk up to me. I heard all of them racing in their cars up to the spot. As I sat up on the bench I felt someone next to me. I turned my head to see that jahseh had joined me. I smiled and hugged him before all the other boys we're still arguing over me.

There were these benches in a triangle by the lake... really they were just logs.

Everyone sat on on and jah started a fire in the middle. So far everything was going as planned. Hopefully it stays this way.

"So who'd you choose sza?" Ski asked. I knew he wanted me to choose him. I'm pretty sure all if them did. But I already chose...just nobody except one person knew.

"Guys... please promise you won't hate me for my choice. It's just I feel like I chose the right person." I said. Even though I knew the boys wouldn't judge me...but I was scared.

They all laughed and looked at me like a crazy person. "Sizzle you know we don't care as long as yuh happy"

I nodded feeling a little bit more comforted to tell the boys. I looked around...no Gazzy...good I got time.

"I chose jahseh" I said getting a little close to jahseh. I wanted to feel his soft touch. He kissed my forehead. All of they guys awwed us. I hugged all of the guys and kissed them on the cheek. They questioned me but Gazzy had just pulled up.

And I know the boys. They're gonna try to fight him. The perfect distraction. I stood near the lake where the weeds we're tallest. This was the perfect spot. I heard the yelling start in the background.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jahseh yelled out to gazzy. Poor Gazzy...I'm sorry.

The boys all turned to face me. "Sza...did you set us up?"

I shook my head no. A few tears fluorescently streamed down the side of my face.

"You guys...have no idea how much I care for you. I mean I've known you guys since I was born basically. And I'm so thankful...I'm so thankful you've made my life the best life anyone could ask for."

Jahseh held his arm out. "Sza...come here. Stop crying it's okay. I know it's hard"

He came closer to me. And for a minute the temptation started to get to me. But I snapped out of that shit in 0.1 seconds. I pushed jahseh away from me. And then the bawling got even louder.

"You you yous guys have cared for me. Made sure I was happy. Made sure I was safe. All of you. And most importantly... you've all loved me unconditionally. And I don't deserve any of this. Any of this love. I just make things worse.."

Nahmir was crying...I've never seen him cry since 7th grade. "Nahm..I love you the most. You're my best friend. And the next person to have you as a best friend better treat you good. Because you deserve it. Someone so much better then me."

They all looked at me. Gazzy lost his shit. Nobody could talk. And thats when I did it.

I pulled my arm up to my head. Cocked the gun. And shot myself.

As I was falling I felt one last tear hit me before I hit the lake. I was swimming.. swimming... everything was so soft. And then I closed my eyes.

I closed my eyes~

The end
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There will be book 2 soon❤