Secrets•lil Pump

47

*Szas POV*

I woke Gazzy up at 7:30 am to get ready. We needed to see Diego, because he was definitely not handling any of this very well. And the last thing I needed was for Gazzy's Best friend to die. I needed to think about how I could keep this baby alive and well. Because in my experience me and Gazzy apparently can't keep a baby for shit. And I'm tired of feeling like the worst mother in the world. 

"Gazzy go get dressed we need to be there before Diego wakes up and leaves!" I smacked him on the forehead as he was still listening to music and eating the breakfast I made him. He threw his fork down onto his plate making a loud ass noise and got up from the table to go upstairs. I was already ready to go and so I started the car. I plugged in the aux and bumped Lil Skies Lust. I can't believe that soon i'll be meeting a whole bunch of amazing artists. I can't believe my dream is coming true. 

Gazzy couldn't be any fucking slower so I started scrolling through instagram. I saw fans tagging me everywhere. Even Kendrick tagged me and followed me. Finally. As I scrolled more I saw a picture of Jordan in the hospital with a breathing tube. My eyes began to tear up as I saw this. I didn't even think about what I was about to do. Truth was I still wish i'd never married Gazzy. I wish I never fucked up my life ike I did. But there's no leaving. Gazzy has already made it clear that I'm stuck...unless he's dead. Wait, what the fuck am I thinking. Hell no I am not killing Gazzy.

I dialed skylars number and had a bit of anxiety while waiting for him to answer. I knew he was with jordan because they were homies for life. I missed them. I missed always playing hard to get with jordan. I miss skylar sharing our secrets with each other until we got together. Skylar was rising in fame, he had it all and I miss it. 

He didn't answer. In fact he blocked me. I threw my phone on to the driveway and screamed loud enough for Gazzy and the security to come running up to me. I got out of the car and pushed Gazzy away from me. I even pushed the security. I started to run through the street. I knew where he was, but I dont know if i can do this anymore. I need jahseh right now. I need him. I completely smashed my phone so no use in trying to call anyone. I would just run there it's not that far anyways.

About 25 minutes later I was at Jahsehs door. I banged on the door and spammed the doorbell until he answered me. 

"What sza damn I was sleep!" He yelled at me but I didn't even care. I threw myself into his arms and hugged him. I would never let go if i didn't have to. 

"Szas whats going on? Did that nigga hurt you!?"

All I could do was shake my head no. He didn't hurt me. I hurt myself. By ever saying yes. "Jah I just wanna die. I can't take this no more. I don't care whether theres a baby or a billion dollar house or anything, I don't even love him. I don't know Gazzy at all. I made the decision to quick and now my entire life is a mess. Jordan wouldn't have done this to me. And im never going to get him back now. Skylar blocked me, Diego wants to commit suicide, Vanessa got poisoned by Gazzy. I found the fucking visine in his safe. And I can't confront him because he'll beat me. I have bruises from him all over. And it's all too much!!!"

Jahseh squeezed me even tighter and began to cry as he layed his chin on my forehead. We stood there in silence just crying. I couldn't even move myself. I was broken down. I was killing myself emotionally. I was nothing but Gazzys pretty trophy that he would never let go. I had to get out. But i think it's too late for that.

Jahseh picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He laid me on the couch and handed me a PS4 controller. I smiled because me and him would do the thing where he'd play duos with me while we were in the same room. That's why he kept two tvs in the living room. I wiped my tears and changed my characters suit. 

"Time top kick your ass siz" Jah said as he playfully nudged my shoulder. I hit him on the back of the head.

"Nuh uh!"

Me and jahseh played about 23 games and by that time it was 2 pm. I forgot about all the shit I was going through. Thats why I come to jahsehs house. Because I dont need to worry about anything that goes on. I just have fun. "Hey siz, you can stay here for a while if you want to?"

I smiled and hugged him. "Yeah, Ill do that. But can you help me out with jordan. I need to see him. I think he's dying"

Jahseh handed me his phone and car keys. 

"Go see him. Call my other phone if you need anything alright"

I nodded and kissed his hand as a friendly gesture. I got up from the couch and walked out the front door to get in his car. I took a deep deeeeep breath and started the engine. I unlocked jahs phone and dialed skylars number. Now I would have to wait for the haunting dial tone to finish.