Secrets•lil Pump

29

*szas POV*(the next day)

"All my friends seem to fucking hate me. Cuz I'm doing great..."

I sat on a couch in the recording studio while Diego was recording his new song. Since I was in XANARCHY now I kind of had to go to the recording sessions with Steven and Diego. It was awkward as fuck though.

Once Diego was done he told me to hop in the booth. I had to tell him I had no new songs to record yet.

"Then show us how you sing one of your recent songs. Come on, don't leave us hanging here!" Diego said with his smile as always. I shrugged finally giving in.

"Run fast from my day job
Runnin' fast from the way it was
Jump quick to a pay check
Runnin' back to the strip club"

As I was singing Steven and Diego were nodding their heads to show the song was going well. I was nervous as I was singing in front of two of my favorite people. And it was kind of embarrassing.

"I'm never going,never going back
No You can't make me
I'm never going back, never going..."

I felt my throat fill up with nervous spit. I cleared my throat and continued to start back on my last line.

"I'm never going back, never goi-"
I felt so nauseous I had to stop the session. Diego let me lean against his arm and helped me to the couch to sit.

"You ok Sza?" Steven asked me concerned. He started down next to me as well as Diego handing me water.

I shook my head no.
"I, I can't record right now. I don't feel well!" I said standing up and going for the door. I turned around before leaving and smiled faintly.

"Catch you later??"

They both nodded and I left the studio, getting in my car.

"I just need to talk to someone who understands this. Someone who knows what I'm going through"

I stepped on the gas backing out of the driveway. Finally I had arrived at where I was going. I went up to the door step and knocked waiting for an answer.

Finally after what felt like 29 years Jahseh answered the door and I immediately hugged him and started crying. He hugged me back.

"Jahseh I've fucked up and I don't know what to do. Please help me!"

Jahseh helped me inside and we started on his couch. He looked at my face now ruined by tears.

"What's going on siz?" He asked me focusing on what I had to say

"Jahseh...I...well I got married in jamaica-"

Jahshe started to talk but I stopped him.

"To Gazzy. And then to get into XANARCHY I had to well...sleep with Diego and then trippie was lonely so him too. And then I found out I was pregnant but I don't know who the dad is. For all I know it could be Jordan's but I think it's Diego's. And I'm scared to get the test. Gazzy is in jail for serious charges. I wanna end it all. Please help me!!" I was bawling my eyes out at this point. Jahseh could barely hear what I was saying as I was just mumbling from all the sadness. He hugged me and shook his head.

"Oh my god. Sza you gotta fix this. I respect your choices but seriously is he...you know Gazzy..is he making you do stuff you don't want to? Because I know you had things good why would you fuck it up?" Jahseh asked me quite concerned. I didn't know how to take any of it.

"Jahseh i- i- i- I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where they put Jordan or if he's alive. I'm so confused. And I think it's too late to get out!" I said truthfully. I regretted everything I had done. It was just too much too fast.
Why am I so fucking dumb?!

"Sza...I don't know...I'm surprised you did this. Well first off you need to know who the dad is. And I think you need to leave Gazzy"

"Jahseh...I can't do that. I don't want to. I do. But I don't. I just want this to stop. All of this Jamaica stuff. It's fucking up me in my head"

"I know how you feel Sza. Why don't you stay for dinner. I just ordered Chinese and then I'll take you home and wait until you fall asleep. Gazzy has court tomorrow doesn't he?"

"Yeah that sounds good, thanks Jahseh. Youre a good friend" I thanked him. He turned on his PS4 and we played games until the food came. After we ate he took me home and I showered then fell asleep with him next to me. (Like friends chill ya nastys 😂😂)