Meant to be

...

So yeah I got some inspiration from my dreams so I set aside my biggest projects and started with these storys. I hope someone some day reads this and doesn't think it's boring but please if you're ever reading this then please don't hold back and please share your opinon even if it's negative

I finnaly set myself on the bench, tired of running, but I just couldn't do this. Holden did this again, he hit me, he lied to me, he drank. I was so tired of this. He was 18 an adult but always ALL THE TIME I felt as the older one in this. I knew his problems but the more I care the less I feel and the less he changed. I was so tired of this. I stopped loving him long time ago but I felt guilt but I'm so sick of this. I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Why him? What I've done!" I'm crying out loud as I were siting in there, being sick of him and his moods. We were over and this time forever. He may be what ever he is but he's not my boyfriend anymore and this time I meant it. I were crying and at this moment I knew that these were the last tears I fell because of him.

As I was siting in there thinking what could happen in the future, what would my parents say. I was so in my mind that I didn't even noticed as someone sat next to me until he said something and I was shoked "Eh What?"

- Sry did I scared you?

- No, yes, no! I stuttered

- And that is...

- Yes, but it was my fault. I was too deep in my mind.

As I looked at him all I could see was the most perfect pair of grey eyes I've ever seen and his light brown hair and we just stared at each other, until the reality came back to me and I looked away and my breathing became heavy and he was confused and but his hand on my back and his voice it was the most beautiful thing I could ever heard like a mix of sweet kitten and big scary dog.

" Hey! Is everything alright? You scare me!" he told as all I could think of what was others opinion if I told them I broke up with Holden. I could already feel the others whispers and hatred as everybody knew that Holden was bipolar but I just couldn't stand it anymore.

Tears started too fell from my eyes because of fear and at the next moment I felt under mu something strong and warm what was wrapped around me. I looked up when my breathing became normal and I smiled thankfully as he asked again: " Is everything okay"

- Ou, yes! I lied - Just perfect. I put on my fake smile but still couldn't hide the sarcasm in my voice

- You can tell me.

- Yes but why would I trust complete stranger?

- Because I'm complete stranger

- What? I was confused

- Telling something to complete stranger is much better than tell to someone you cared about, I can tell. So tell me. He smiled reassuringly exposing all his beautiful teeth and I don't know what that was about him that made me trust this stranger but I guess it was my gut telling me something but me ignoring it as I said:

- Okay! But only in one rule. I but my little finger up smiling him - No names.

- No names. He repeated as he but his little finger up and we made pinky promise that I will tell him and then we'll never meet again and we expose our names only when we meet again in some strange coincidence witch seemed impossible. So I leaned on to this stranger and started:

- Few years ago I met this kid Holden and we became friends and then something more and I think I loved him but he's bipolar and he's two years elder than me and in the start everything seemed fine but then he started drinking I thought I had got him away from this way but then I saw him today at the bar drank as hell. I started to get him out of there but then... he hit me and I wish it was the first time but the truth is.... I exposed my hand under the sleeves and took off my make up and I saw from he's eyes that they were filled with horror

- Why didn't you broke up with him?

- You think that this is so easy. I looked at him - It's not. Everybody knows about his decease and if I broke up with him the people will talk that it was because of his illness and part of this is true but people don't know. This relationship is drowning me, It's killing me... I exposed my hands with cuts. - People think that we were in love, that we were perfect for eac other. My parents want me to marry him as I get older but I... I couldn't. Why should I, when I do everything to please them and fill their unfilled dreams by me. I don't like flute I hate it, I would much rather play guitar but my father wanted to become as an flute artist when he was young so... yeah. I have to fill them and it's killing me. I feel like everything expect my friends are killing me and the truth is I have this little decease which is killing me also. Nobody knows but I suffer from Preflextons Precilioms ( Author: An decase with this name doesn't exists I just made it up) so called PP so my one cell eats another and the most sad part is that nobody knows about this. I found out I have PP about and year ago and I have hidden it and the pill bottles and I keep it secret but I'm just so tired. This stupid PP kills you slowly and is very painful and stress is the less thing I need but hey I have to fill my parents lost dreams and stupid BF dramas so hey let's don't think about me. It feels like I'm slowly killing myself. I just can't handle this. I begun to cry and he pulled me to strong hug:

- Hey. Hey. It's like suicide. You don't live to yourself you live for other and are you happy? I nodded - No I see in your eyes that this nod is a lie. You are basically dying so why waste your life last years for making others happy. You're just so stuborn

- Other people could call it selflessness

- Well I call it suicide. And what matters other people opinion. Screw them! The only people you need is You and hope. Belive in yourself and make yourself not other happy. He watched me with his beautiful piercing eyes and was leaning in so did I when and horrible pain kicked in my head and everything went black.

When I became on conscious I was in my room and he... was gone