Chapter 47
When I look back at our relationship now, I see that it was far from perfect. We had our ups and downs, fought and made mistakes but I wouldn't have it any other way. I would like to say that that's how it continued to be but I couldn't. Union J got pretty successful and popular and the fame got to George's head. He got caught up with drugs and alcohol and on top of that he didn't seem to care about me or Charlie anymore. But instead of leaving him, I talked to him and he said we wanted to try. A moth later he had to leave for a small tour around the UK. That was 2 years ago and I haven't seen him since then. He just left and never came back.
It was hard you know, raising a kid all on your own. Yes my aunt helped me where she could but I couldn't expect her to take care of Charlie 24/7. I know I could always go back to London to my mom but my heart lays in New York.
But you know that wasn't even the hardest part. What absolutely killed me was when Charlie asked me where his daddy was. I couldn't even give an answer to that because I had no idea. Neither did anyone else.
When the tour ended they announced that that would be their last because they all wanted to focus on their life and families. After a week I got worried because George wasn't back yet, so I called the boys. They were all really confused because George left them to come home. When I heard that I immediately assumed the worst so I contacted his parents. They told me that they had seen George right after the tour ended. He came to say goodbye and said that he had to leave. Something about cleaning up the mess he made. My blood boiled but at the same time my heart broke in to a million pieces. He freaking left me! He left me alone with our son in New York without a job.
The moths after that were awful. My emotions were all over the place and I kept thinking that it was my fault that he left. I hated myself and I got depressed. George was my life and I couldn't live that life without him. I didn't want to. God I was even considering marrying him!
I was planning on giving Charlie up for adoption, but that's when my aunt came into the picture. We had a serious talk, and she made me realize that I had a life to take care of now. I had to be the best mom I could, even if it was hard. Slowly but surely I became the old me again and did everything I could to make Charlie happy. He was my everything now.
I tried getting back into dating because it would make it all a little bit easier, but it just felt wrong. Anyway here I am today. A strong independent business woman with a 5 year old son. I was happy, healthy and strong.
"Charlie where are you?" I yelled and he giggled. Just his dad. "In my room mommy!" He yelled back. "Well come here! We're going to the park!" I said and grabbed my bag. "Yay! Can we get ice cream after?" He asked and looked into my eyes. "Of course sweetie now come one put on your jacket." I said and he dis as told.
Charlie wasn't like most kids. When we would go to the park, he would never want to play on the playground. No he preferred to take a walk with his mom.
"So how about that ice cream?" I whispered in his ear and he jumped in my arms and gave me a tight hug. "Yes mommy! Please?" He asked excitedly and I laughed. "Yes yes okay!"
After all of that we decided it was time to go home. We reached the apartment building and as usual Charlie ran upstairs while I took my time. Yes I still don't use elevators. But what I saw when I reached my apartment was something I sure as hell wasn't expecting. There stood George with Charlie in his arms.
"What the fuck are you doing here? And let go of my son!" I growled and his eyes widened in surprise. All the hurt I had felt in those two tears was now replaced by anger and only anger. "Mommy don't swear!" Charlie gasped and I took a deep breath. Calm down Jazmyn. "I'm sorry angel. Why don't you go inside and watch some TV? I will be right there." I asked he nodded before going inside.
"Why are you here? If it is to come pick up your clothes, I'll go get them." I said and he shook his head. "No Jazz! I came back for you guys. For us. For my family." He said and I burst out laughing. "Oh you can't be serious right now! That's hilarious! You left me for two years without anything! Not even an explanation! I was freaking depressed! You see these cuts? Yeah? Well that's your fault! I wanted to give Charlie up for adoption and fucking kill myself! If it wasn't for my aunt knocking some sense into me, I wouldn't have been here. You put me through hell! But you see I managed. I got through it and I feel great! So what makes you think that you can come back and ruin everything I have worked for!" I screamed and he flinched at my tone.
"No Jazz! You don't understand okay! I didn't leave because I wanted to! I left because I had to! I promised you that I was going to try but I couldn't! I couldn't do it even though I wanted it. And I wanted it so badly. So when the tour finished I decided it was time to go and get professional help. I was an awful boyfriend and dad and it couldn't go on like that. I was in rehab for 6 moths but apparently that wasn't enough because right when I got out, I relapsed. Not the drugs though, just the alcohol. I knew that I caused you pain and I just couldn't live with it. So yeah I went back. This time I was in there for over a year and when I got out I felt like a total different person. But I was scared to come home. I was also scared that I would relapse again so I stayed on myself for a little while, trying to sort things out and build enough courage to come here." He spoke and I immediately cooled down. That's where he was.
"Then why didn't you just tell me?! Instead you left me all worried and broken. George it hurt so much!" My voice started out loud and strong but ended up in a whimper. "Because I'm a coward! That's why! I was already a disappointment, so I definitely couldn't handle the look on your face when I told you. I was planning on calling you or well writing you when I was there to explain but I wasn't allowed to. I was isolated from the outside world and no one knew I was there. I didn't mean for all of this to happen Jazz and I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back and change what I did but I can't. I can make sure that our future is everything you ever wanted it to be though. I'm not asking for a second chance because you've already gave me more than two chances. I just hope you do give me just one other chance to show you that I changed and that I can make the perfect man and father. I love you so much Jazz and I can't live without you or Charlie. I need you in my life so please! I love you." He sobbed and by now tears were streaming down my face too. I still felt hurt and slightly angry for him not telling me but I was really glad he got professional help and got better.
"I love you too. And I'm not saying that I'm going to take you back and everything will be back how it was. You need to work for this, but I need you and so does Charlie." I admitted and a smile took over his face. He took a step closer to me and rested his hand on my cheek. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered and I bit my lip in hesitation before giving him a slight nod. His lips immediately pressed against mine and god did I miss this feeling.
"Eww mommy what are you doing?" A little voice spoke up and we broke apart in surprise. My cheeks turned a bright pink and George chuckled. "Come on little man. Let's go watch Spongebob." George said and Charlie nodded his head and grabbed his dad's hand to lead him inside.
If there's one thing I learned about my journey with George it's to never give up and forgive. Life's too short to hold grudges. We all make mistakes and yeah sometimes it's hard to just forgive someone.
George has hurt me a lot of times but the love I feel for him overpowers the pain he sometimes causes me. And no matter what happens, as long as I'm with him, everything will turn out just right.
A/N
Omg this is it guys! It's actually over!! We just want to thank you for putting up with our slow updates and this story in general. We know this wasn't the best story but 31k reads? That's incredible and we can't thank you enough for that. We loved writing this and yeah this was our first fanfic so yeah it wasn't that good but yeah. After more than a year we finally finished this!! You could always check out our other stories if you want. I promise they have amazing plots and yeah. Once again thank you! Big love and for one last time vote and comment!
