Crossfire

"He Would Never Forgive Me"

Merlin

The kiss was exhilarating. I felt soft lips come in contact with mine, the sweetness offered like butter on toast. My arms slowly slid to find Arthur's chest, as I gently placed them where his heartbeat was strong. Arthur replied to my gesture by swiftly pulling me closer to him—our bodies now touching. Warmth seeped through my entire body. I've never felt something so fierce yet gentle. That's how Arthur was guiding me.
I opened my eyes once our kiss ended just to close my eyes again. The rain was pouring down—its speed only seeming to pick up by the minute. I gave a soft sniff, letting my head fall into his chest. Out of the corners of my eyes I could see my father laying on the wet grass, his face motionless. But he almost looked peaceful—like he didn't have to pretend anymore. Didn't have to hide from whatever darkness was layed out for him.
I felt my head be lifted up by delicate hands. Looking into Arthur's eyes, I felt a wave of emotions hit me, each oncomer overlapping with the next. "You're not mad at me?" I croaked.
He gave a soft sigh. "Ofcourse I am. I'm furious." Arthur paused. He was frustrated with himself. Like he knew something he couldn't let escape his mouth. Leaning his forehead against mine, he let out another breath. "But I know I can't stay mad at you forever."
I let a tear shed. "So you'll remember those moments."
He would never forgive me.
"Correct," came his dull expression.
He would never forgive me.
Closing my eyes, I stood stiffly, letting the rain beat down on me. I wasn't expecting my secrets to be unraveled like this. The entirety of the trip so far was a whole disaster. Suddenly I couldn't help myself, letting a sob blow from my lips.
Arthur was there, instantly pulling me closer, soothing me in any way he possibly could. "Some things don't need to be forgiven though, Merlin."
"But-"
"Merlin; we'll figure this out, alright?" I felt the sudden cold hit my body, wet hands grasping me tightly. "Promise me you won't mourn too much over him."
Sniffing, the snot glazed over Arthur's drenched shirt, as I swallowed another sob back. "I promise." I then suddenly felt lips touch my forehead. I let my face rest against the softness, accepting the rush of warmth and welcoming.
"Good," his voice replied. Then feeling a small, reassuring pat on the back, Arthur said, "let's return to the camp."

Arthur

"I'm scared of what they'll think," Merlin mumbled in an anxious tone.
I gave a defeated sigh. "Then don't think about it."
Seeing him tilt his head down in the corner of my eye, my mind stumbled. I was good at helping others, sure, but the ability to comfort one with sympathy was something I hadn't ever obtained to do.
My brain was still in a jumbled mess from what had recently occurred.
Merlin had magic.
Merlin was an heir to a throne.
Merlin was a dragon lord.
Merlin Merlin Merlin.
"Yes?" he mumbled.
Had I said that out loud? Quickly shaking my head, I grabbed his hand, grasping on to it like it was my lifeline. Even in the harsh rain, a blush on Merlin's face was obvious.
By the time we reached the makeshift camp, the two of us took notice to the lack of people.
"They must be in their tents," Merlin said.
Nodding at his comment, I dragged his hand to the tent that had seemed empty. The opening flaps were flying harshly in the wind, the entrance of the small building damp with rain. We both soon entered the tent, adjusting to the small area.
"At least it's dry in here," my voice came. Then taking a glance to my drenched outfit, I sighed, looking to Merlin. "I'm going to go get dry clothes from the horses."
Quickly dashing back into the rain, I traveled to the horses under nearby trees, fetching out two dry outfits. I slightly tilted my head at the majority of the horses, deciding to sneak out a small chunk of bread to feed them all. Soon returning, I wiped the rain that had accumulated on my forehead, shaking my head to rid of the water in my hair. "Hey, Merlin I-" I stopped speaking upon taking notice to his figure. He was laying down, scrunched in a small ball of safety, shivering from the coldness the rain had offered. "Merlin," I started, trodding over.
"He's still out in the rain," he murmured.
I sighed. "We'll give him a proper burial tomorrow. I promise."
Shifting, Merlin turned over, now facing me. For the short few moments I was gone, he still managed to have a breakdown. "Don't you feel at least the tiniest bit of guilt from his death?" His voice was torn—tired.
"Ofcourse I do," I replied without hesitation. Beginning to change into dry clothes, Merlin continued to create pessimistic thoughts.
"How are you not...mourning?" he asked quietly, his tone thinking his question was pathetic.
"Because I wasn't attached to him," came my simple, yet honest answer. I had only known the man as a king; nothing more.
I finished dressing myself, sitting down to join Merlin. Without hesitation, I grasped onto his hands, rubbing the warmth back into them. He was shivering—no doubt. Seeing his face, I felt sympathy, wanting to pull him close. Closing my eyes, I heaved a breath.
I didn't need empathy right now.
I needed answers.
"Why'd you choose to do magic?" I questioned. I couldn't take the secrets anymore.
Shifting into a sitting position, he quietly answered my question. "It wasn't a choice."
Scrunching my eyebrows, I gave him an appalled look. "Merlin; you don't have to lie to me."
"I'm not lying." His eyes found mine, resting them in their current place, analyzing my reaction. His pupils dilated from the adjusted light, trying to sense the warmth that was radiating from my body. "I was born with...magic," he mumbled out with a soft choke. It was clear he wasn't confident about speaking this matter with me.
I raised an eyebrow at his reply. He was a warlock. I had read about their kind in the books ages ago. My father would tell me the stories of them—on how they could control weather, create objects, do anything in existence.
I internally smiled at the idea.

Merlin

"Show me," Arthur demanded in a endearing, kind fashion.
"What?"
"Show me," he voiced again. "Your magic. I want to see it."
I looked down to our intertwined hands. Slowly taking mine out of his grasp, I felt the coldness return to my palms. "What do you want me to do?" I asked.
He gave a soft smile. "Anything."
I smiled mentally in return, my face physically not able to pull the muscles at the moment. I couldn't manage to laugh or smile after what had previously happened. Maybe soon.
Closing my eyes, the magic began racing through me, surging like a fiery bullet. Incoherent mumbles escaped my mouth, as I felt Arthur's presence study me carefully. I then felt a small flapping graze against my palm. Opening up my hands, I saw a blue butterfly gently sway in my grasp, the wind blowing inside the tent gently breezing against the delicate creature. The bug then took off into the air above the two of us, fluttering up to the top until it puffed into a small cloud of royal blue. I watched the scene unfold with grace, a smile beginning to etch onto my face. Maybe I was ready to pull such stunts after a death.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I softly said.
"Yeah," came Arthur's dazed reply. Giving a small laugh, I looked back down to find him staring at me. I felt his hands gently touch my cheek, then cupping it. Gently leaning into his touch, I felt a cold, but soft hand touch my back, pulling me closer. My lips then felt his again. How the man is able to create such emotions for me, I'm not sure.
My body moved in sync with his, following an ongoing rhythm that never seemed to stop. Every time one of us would break away for a breath, the other would just pull them back in, meeting the opponent's lips once again.
"Arthur," I mumbled into a kiss. His warmth caressed my body into a soft blanket. He moaned in reply to my calling, bringing his hands up to rake my hair, touching the soft strands with ease.
"I'm tired." I didn't mean to make my tone sound so weary. My mind was cramped with present memories and thoughts that I didn't want to participate in anymore. I wanted unconsciousness. I wanted to feel safe with the sheet of black that would numb my mind and body.
Feeling the release of the kiss, I felt Arthur gently touch my shoulder, then dragging me up to face him. I felt his fingers grasp the torn edges of my shirt, attempting to dress me, before I immediately cut him off with a rapid action. "Don't," I croaked.
Arthur took notice to the change in my features. "It's okay, Merlin," he began again, before I stepped away, the soles of my worn shoes beginning to ache against my feet.
"Just...don't."
Wrinkles made an appearance on Arthur's forehead, the concern clear on his face. "What's wrong?" he questioned sympathetically.
My breathing fell erratic. The scars. Gods, I didn't want him to spot the scars. 
"Uh—nothing. I'll just change myself," I replied messily, taking the arid clothes from his hands, beginning to walk some place else to change, before a hand found its way onto my shoulder. Pulling me back to face Arthur, I couldn't help but let his hand rub my muscles in a soothing gesture, the motions persistent.
"You're scared about me seeing your scars, aren't you?"
Feeling my head whip up in utter shock, I had a failed attempt in clearing my throat before answering. "You knew?"
Arthur just chuckled in reply, sticking his hand out to push a loose strand of hair from my face. "You're not giving me enough credit, Merlin."
I gave a cheeky grin that soon fell weak. "Well, I might as well just tell you everything. Since you seem to catch every little detail."
Arthur smiled at my banter. The relationship was mending. Maybe there was a chance for the darkness to fade away.
Feeling his hands once more on me, I accepted the warmth this time, letting him dress me. I had quickly slipped my shoes off—along with the mushy socks the rain had soaked through, moving on to the rest of the articles of clothing. After all was done, I sighed in relief from the escape of wetness.
I took note of Arthur looking to the bed roll he had neatly made for the two of us, two of them packed together big enough for the two of us to share the only blanket. Before I could react, he then hastily pulled me down with him to face the thin sheet of warmth. I shifted, attempting to get comfortable.
"Sorry I couldn't get more blankets," Arthur whispered. Hands began to rake my hair as a soothing gesture. "If you want, I could go get some more-"
"No, no," I mumbled with drowsiness. All that my mind was thinking was, can't let his body leave mine. "It's fine," came my scratchy voice.
Heaving out a breath, Arthur pulled the covers over the two of us, scooting in to keep the heat encased.
"Goodnight, Merlin," Arthur said in a hushed tone.
I didn't have the voice or strength to reply. By the time I was ready to reply, I was already being dragged into the home I had recently reclaimed.

A/N: There y'all go! Another chapter! This one's a little longer...so...yay? ANYWAY, if y'all enjoyed this chapter, please drop a vote or comment! Anything helps me improve with my story (and comedic comments are always appreciated)! Bye!