The fear in me

Jason

Nay is incredible. She really is a girl who knows how to enjoy life. It's sweet to see her so carefree. And naked as well! I mean really – completely. I can't find words and at the same time I'm overcome by desire. I must really have stared. Don't they always say that intense looks are felt? Yes, I had a thorough look at her. At any rate she caught me at it. Of course there's no point in just crouching down, but that's what I'm doing right now.

Hell! She's already seen me. Wonderful! Now she'll think I'm a peeping Tom!

But for God's sake, why does she get dressed right in front of my window?

Or did she put on that circus act for Tim?

I can look over to Tim through her window. Goddam!

Did she have her curtains open to all sides?

I don't know, I didn't take notice of that ... and I won't make a fool of myself and gawk over just to be sure of that. I ought to just forget about it and get ready. I don't want to know at all what she did yesterday because that would just make me crazy. Of course I reached no conclusions in my thinking. Longing for Nay has made me almost mad. Fortunately Sharon has completely roped me in and I can say that all of the rooms are perfectly furnished. At least something!

Punctually at 7.30 there is a ring of the doorbell. I'm excited. When I open up I see Nay, who beams at me and says "Hi". Behind her Tim is standing, and he forces himself to say a shirty "Morning".

Bum! I'd completely forgotten about him. All right .. the three of us! When we go over to Nay's Honda fit Tim immediately sets a beeline for the passenger seat near the driver.

Okay by me! I think and throw my schoolbag onto the back seat. Tim turns around and looks at me triumphantly. "Are you cold, Rockefeller? Or have you still got allergies? Don't you have to wear a mask? It'd be better," he says contemptuously while inspecting my leather gloves. He is himself wearing sporty half-length trousers and a T-shirt.

"Tim, leave him alone!" says Nay with a warning and takes a worried look in the rear vision mirror.

I don't answer and Tim turns away. I give a quiet sigh. Well then, this can get a bit tricky.

"Tim comes three times a week with me," Nay explains to me. It sounds almost like an apology.

"I'd go with you every day if I didn't have training!" he sucks up to her.

Nay grins and explains. "Tim plays inline hockey! He's the centre forward, that's the star of the team."

"Do you go in for sport too?" asks Tim, and turns again to me insofar as his safety belt allows.

"I do body building!" I answer.

"In the fitness studio?" Tim asks in surprise.

"No, at home!"

Tim snorts and turns to the front again. "What does that achieve if you strike poses alone in front of the mirror?"

"I don't do that at all. And I don't have a mirror. I keep fit! And I go jogging!" I explain.

"I do too!" Nay cries out joyfully, and I can hear that she's trying to distract us.

"Huh? Jogging, that's not a sport. And body building even less so. And by the way, Nay doesn't like muscle-bound apes!" Tim says.

"I just don't like men who are pumped full of steroids!" Nay contradicts him and blushes. I have no idea why.

"She likes natural men's bodies!" says Tim as if he's convinced that it's only his body that could turn her on. I would just love to wipe that idiotic grin off his mug.