The fear in me

Jason

I sleep for a long time and for the first time without nightmares. I can't tell anybody how relieved I am. I'm not a monster! I'm not responsible for the death of my family. My father doesn't want to kill me, he even wants to help me. I've got a brother who even knows Nay. Nay! She's safe and now everything will turn out well. I don't have to kill myself now. I could embrace the whole world. In a good mood I jump out of bed and go for a shower. I want to do training so I'll be fit when my father attacks. I hope I won't have to kill Lukas and that he will understand and stop killing angels. All of the angels of death will be shocked when they find out that Rafael is their father. Or maybe they won't care. How is it at all possible that you don't see similarities among them? Have they all inherited just the genes of their mothers? It must be like that. But they've all received Rafael's gift! And they really are brothers! Incredible!

Am I really a taker, as Sam said? Then I'd have to be able to read thoughts too. I absolutely must try that out straight away ...

When I'm ready I walk along the corridor. I really have to put a brake on myself so as not to look too optimistic. While going down the steps I hear a loud discussion.

"... he's gone, is he? Why should they take him and let us all stay alive? That doesn't make sense."

Aha, so they've noticed that Sam has disappeared. Great, that was to be expected. What'll they do now?

I want to continue eavesdropping, but then I see Lukas, who's grinning at me. "Hey, little fellow!" he calls out.

"What's going on in there?" I ask him instead of greeting him. I'm trying to sound puzzled, and I succeed quite well. Well now, years of training!

"Ah, they're a bit worked up because our prisoner has escaped and we ..."

"Prisoner?" I put in, as if surprised.

"We had a prisoner and he got away last night. We think the HA are behind it," he says briefly.

"But ... you were counting on an attack in any case!"

Lukas sighs. "Boy, we didn't count on that at all. Rafael just said that so you'd start training more intensively ... nobody knew where we were ... and now it's clear that they do know. I think we'll have to go over to our alternative quarters." "Alternative quarters?" I ask astonished, and this time I'm not acting.

"Yes, Rafael has a further problem ... Hektor seems to have lost his powers ..."

"And so who is this Hektor?"

"An idiot! He's always been one, I've no idea how he became an angel of death ..." Lukas snorts. "He's a disgrace to our kind ..."

"Okay!" I say, and I'm frustrated. What should I do now? If we leave this house Sam and my father will no longer find me ... And I can't somehow beam myself to Sam because I don't know where he is exactly ... Shit! I can only leave a message behind and hope my father will find it. But that would not be for another three days! Damn! Why didn't we think of that earlier? Why didn't we think out an emergency plan?

"Come on, boy, don't worry," Lukas talks into my thoughts. "I won't let your father kill you ..."

It sounds so convincing that I believe him. He would kill for me. Unfortunately he'd do it for a false reason. Rafael really has done a thorough job and so all the angels of death think they're carrying out a necessary mission. In their eyes they're doing that only because they've suffered injustice from the healing angels – who just want to kill them. None of them see that it's Rafael who's made them all a target. I'd like to tell Lukas exactly that ... but I know it's too early for that ... I have to wait!