The fear in me

Nay

I observe Lukas and admire his loyalty to Jason. If Jason can even attract one of the AD's to his side, then really nothing can go wrong, can it? Tim and I stand a bit aside while Lukas goes through the plans with Jason. He explains that Jason has to approach Rafael in a quite normal way. I think that will be hard for Jason.

I can't blame him for hating his "creator". I don't know how I'd have behaved in his situation. You need human contacts. It's incredible that he didn't go mad. It must have taken a load off his mind when he heard from Sam that his parents are still alive. I could not help but think of the fairy story about the king of the frogs. When his master is freed of the curse and is sitting with him in the coach, there's a loud bang and the prince says in alarm: "Heinrich, the coach is falling apart!" In answer to that Heinrich says to his master: "No, lord, not the coach. It's a cord around my heart which was suffering great pain when you were sitting in the well and were converted by a spell into a frog!"

I wish it was so easy and I could simply kiss Jason free of his gift. How hard it must have been for his father to just leave him behind. I can't imagine what was going on in his head when he had to make his decisions. I'm so glad that Sam found me; I can stay with Jason because I'm the only one who is immune to his deadly gift.

But will that be enough for him? If we vanquish the AD's, then that would mean that we'll achieve only a limited happy ending, wouldn't it? Jason would remain forever lethal ... but basically that doesn't worry me at all at this moment.

"Nay!" I'm snatched out of my thoughts. "I'm going to beam myself into my room now!" Jason says tenderly and gives me a short but passionate kiss. "We'll meet again tomorrow when it's all over."

"Be careful!"

He grins. "Always! After all, I want to go back to Kiel with you."

"That's good. You see, I wouldn't go back without you!" I hug him hard and would rather never let him go again.

"I'll keep a good eye on him, little one!" Lukas puts my mind at ease.

"Please come to me as soon as you've finished, okay? Otherwise I couldn't sleep," I beg.

"A promise!" sighs Jason, and kisses me a last time. Then he gives Tim a warning to keep his hands off me, and beams himself away.

"We'll see each other tomorrow, kids!" warbles Lukas, then he disappears.

"Man oh man, what can demons do if even angels can beam themselves away? Probably they deflagrate in a cloud of brimstone ... or they 'flame' themselves off."

"Tim, you watch too much TV!"

"Nay, this stuff here is real! I mean ... truly real ... Angels! Hello-o-o! Don't you think there could also be other beings? And quite honestly, if these here are allegedly the goodies, I wouldn't like to see the baddies ... I mean: look at that Lukas ... he looks like a human and he smells quite normally ..."

"Why should he stink?" I laugh.

"Because the baddies are supposed to stink! If they can't be distinguished in any way from the goodies, then the whole thing is rather unjust," Tim says with his strange logic.

I roll my eyes. I think once again of Jason's life and how long he had to do without caresses. "Life is unjust, Tim," I say to him. "You can only see what's outside someone's head ... Look at all those serial killers; when they're arrested mostly they're people who look as normal as you and I ..."

"But maybe they're demons too – disguised as normal people!" "Precisely ... because only demons do bad things and humans are totally innocent ..." Tense, I let myself fall on the bed and stare at the ceiling.