Why I Did It (Lauren/You)

Reason Number Ten: My parents

"Y/n? Are you ok in there?" I heard Jeremy, I quickly pulled him in and showed him the stick. His eyes widen "where did you get the stick! Do you just randomly carry pregnancy tests?!" I rolled my eyes. "Jeremy!"

He grabs the stick "you're pregnant? Who got you pregnant"

"I-I don't know- Austin!" I cursed under my breath "who?"

"Jeremy I can't be pregnant! What am I supposed to do?" I felt tears brimming my eyes. "Hey, Hey don't cry" he rubs my back. "What am I going to tell my parents! What am I supposed to?"

I asked, more to myself than to him. "I have to go I'm sorry," I say running out the bathroom. "Y/n Wait!" I ran downstairs and out the house, I got into my car and drove off.

I found myself in front of my hotel. I stayed in the car, I couldn't face my parents I didn't want to tell them anything. Or even look suspicious.

I dialed Lauren's number.

"Please pick up, please pick up"

I sighed in relief once the ringing stop "Hello?"

"Lauren!"

"Y/n, hey wassup are you ok?" I took a breath "I have something to tell you...you're the only one I trust" I heard shuffling in the background.

"What is it?"

I felt tears falling down my face. I let out a small sob "y/n What's wrong?" She asked. You could hear the concern in her voice. "I'm" I let out a shaky breath "I'm pregnant"

Everything went silent. I bite my lip waiting for her to reply but she didn't. "Please say something...I need you right now"

"What exactly do you want me to do y/n?" The tone of her voice changed. "I-I Don't know....I'm scared"

"There's nothing I could possibly do...you did this to yourself"

"I just really need you to be supportive of me. I have no one and I really need you!" She sighs "y/n I can't talk to you right now I have to go!"

"Are you mad at me? Why are you acting like this?"

"Acting like what? I'm busy y/n you know this"

"It sounds like you're angry at me? I did nothing to you"

She scoffs before ending the call. I placed my phone down.

______

I didn't know what I did for you to be upset. I trusted you with that secret and you made me feel very alone. You didn't know what was going on in my life but I gave you hints. But you still didn't seem to care that I was going through a lot.

But don't worry it's not your fault. I don't blame you for not being there. You are busy with the tour, I can't stay mad at you-

______

I let out a groan slamming the book closed "how could I be so stupid!" This could be all of my fault. I could be the reason why she did this to herself.

I got upset with her because she told me something that she trusted me with. I hated the thought of her having sex because around that time I was still discovering my feelings for her.

I looked over at the sleeping girl. Grabbing her hand I kissed it "I need you to wake up y/n. I need you to wake up now. I have to leave soon and I want you to be awake so I'll know you're safe"

I squeezed her hand before standing up and walking out the room. I walked into the cafeteria and decided to get some food.

Y/n titled that page 'My parents' what exactly did they do. And if I'm not the reason on that page then what exactly did I do for her to commit suicide?

I sat down at the table and open the book. One part of me wants to skip everything and find out what I did but other wants to read everything, word for word.

"Hi" I looked up to see Maia. I furrowed my eyebrows "what are you-"

"I came down to see Y/n"

"Well, you should go...she doesn't need you here" I stood up grabbing my tray "How do you know y/n? if you don't mind me asking I have a feeling you don't like me...I just want you to know that I didn't have anything to do with all of this" I scoff "you are one of the main reasons why she did what she did. How could even lie to my face like that?!"

She furrows her eyebrows "excuse me?! I am one of her closest friends!"

"Yeah right. I know about the little relationship you had with her! I know what you did! You played her and then played the victim!"

She shakes her head. "How did you know about our relationship?"

"Does it matter! Don't come back here. After all that you did. You don't deserve to see her" I walked away from her "She's the only thing I got! I'm not giving up on her!" I stopped clenching my jaw. "I love her...I really do!"

I felt tears forming in my eyes. I didn't say anything I just continued walking.

Once I got on the elevator I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes. "Get yourself together Lauren!"

If she loved her why would she hurt her?

Maybe I'm missing something, maybe there's something in that book that tells me what else happens between the two.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

Ally: Our Manager on his way up...good luck

I groan. He's going to make me leave I really can't leave y/n like this. I quickly hit the red the button making the elevator stop. I slide down and grabbed the book.

I decided to keep reading.

______

I think one of the biggest reasons why I did it was because of

1. My parents

And

2. Guilt

Let me explain why........