Why I Did It (Lauren/You)

Reason Number Four: Bullying

After the incident that happened at school I decided to stay home for the rest of the day. Cuddled up with Maia.
Everything was going good until I got several notifications on my twitter/Instagram. Lauren you noticed it and I know you were concerned. The best I could tell you was that the kids at my school were making a film project about cyber bullying. I'm glad that it worked because I didn't want you to worry.

____

"Did he really kiss you?" Maia ask rubbing my arm as I laid on her chest. "Yes...he told me not to say anything or he'll surprisingly make my life a living hell" I rolled my eyes. "He's such a jerk. I hate him"

"Tell me about it'"

My phone buzzes in my pocket. I grab it to see I had a notification. I clicked on it and lead me to twitter.

Ryan Stanford: since we're confessing that sane night @y/n sucked my dick 😏

My heart stopped in my chest. I started to read all the comments

Random: god she's such slut

Random: can't believe she did all that in one night

Random: I fucked her in my jeep right before

Random: can't believe she would do such a thing to Haley I feel bad #trustnohoes

I frown sitting up. "Are you ok?" Maia ask

Random: @Y/n is a fucking slut

Random: go kill yourself

Random: leave our school

Random: @Y/n you're not welcomed here

Melissa Ortiz: wanna here something juicy. I don't think y/n and Maia just kissed.

Melissa Ortiz: I saw them that night. I know and all of you should know that they fucked 😂

Melissa Ortiz: fucking whore @Y/n

I stand up "y/n?" I walk up stairs going into my room and falling on my bed. Tears started to build up in my eyes.

How can people be so cruel. Why would they spread rumors like that. "Baby?"

"Can you leave?" I asked Maia. "Are you sure?" I looked at her and nod. "I'm already going to get in trouble by my dads for leaving school early. So just leave I'll call you later. She walks over to me and kisses my cheek before walking out.

Once I heard the door slam a shut tears fell out. My phone kept vibrating more and more tweets were coming in.

How could I let myself get in this situation?

Who sent Haley that picture. And why am I the only one getting backlash?. Why is Jacob getting praised for what he did none of this made sense.

The next day I didn't go to school or the day after that. I was afraid. Kristen tried to get in touch with me but I couldn't get myself to answer the phone. I lied to my dads about being sick but since it's been going on for a 3 days they started to think that I needed to go to the hospital. I ended going to school because there wasn't no point in raising my parents medical bill up.

I walked inside building. Everyone was staring at me. Whispering to their friends. Some I could hear other I couldn't. My heart was pounding in my chest. Once I got to my locker my heart stop. There was a bunch of pictures of me and Maia kissing and also Jacob.

Slut and dyke were written one them in red pen. I quickly snatched all the pictures off my locker and throwing them in the nearest trash can. I open the my locker and more papers fell out. Which was of course pictures.

Everyone around me started laughing tears fell from eyes I looked around, Jacob was smirking against his locker with Haley and Kristen beside him.

As I went to run away I slipped over the pictures. The crowd got louder. I stood up and ran into the bathroom. I ran in a stall and locked myself in there.

I let out a loud sob.

_____

I stayed in that stall for almost the whole day. I never hated myself as much as I did around that time. I was too embarrassed to show my face in school. The hate went on for months Lauren. I lied to you so many times. I feel bad. I was going to tell you, but I never got the chance.

I always had thoughts in my head. I though about death around that time. And how everything would be if  I was dead. I never tried anything because I was scared.

My life was like that song called empty. Olivia said this in her song

'But I'm empty inside. Yeah I'm empty inside. And I don't want to live but in too scared to die'

Never knew I could relate to song so much.

You know Lauren I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't think I would make it. But I'm dead probably burning in hell right about now-

I closed the book. Placing it down. I walked out the room and went to the cafeterias. I wanted some ice.

Hospital ice is so good.

It was around 3am. Dinah had been left so I was here alone with Y/n. I needed to go home and get some more clothes. My parents went back home to Florida so even if I did go home I would still be alone.

I rather stay here with y/n and wait for her to wake up.

I wonder why she gave me this book. Out of all people why me? Why not her dads or cousins or anyone. She only knew me for 5 months.

So why me?