Not So Picture Perfect

Chapter 23

It's been three weeks, and I've stayed true to my word. Well for the most part. Sophie occasionally drags me out from my room to meet her for lunch when she's off of work or not studying.

Nate has called me a few times to check on me and to see if I'm doing okay. I always tell him that I am, partly because that's the truth and partly because I don't really wan't to talk to him.

Shawn's been busy, award shows and music and whatnot. As for Chase, I haven't heard a word from him since the day he dropped me off at my house.

My parents don't seem that worried about me, but then again they're not home much either.

It's not like I've just been sitting in my room like a loner, I have been doing some work. It would be killing me if I wasn't.

I feel like my life is missing something.

Before I decided to go along with the job, my past summers had seemed so good. Carefree, fun, just like summers should be for a high schooler. Almost picture perfect. This summer has been an insane mess of emotions and feelings.

It's not even summer anymore, but I guess down here in Texas it still feels like it. Warm and bright and bold. All the things that summer should be, even though the end of October is fast approaching.

Then why do I feel stuck? I always have this nagging feeling every time I sing alone, or go out by myself, that I really am missing something. Maybe I'm just going crazy or maybe I'm just lonely. On tour I never had time to myself and I hated it. Maybe now I've just grown accustomed to it.

My phone buzzes with a text from Sophie telling me to check something she sent me on Instagram. I unlock my phone to find Shawn and Hailey Baldwin being extremely cosy at a park in what looks to be New York. This shouldn't be anything new to me, I have been keeping up with the media, and I saw him kiss her at a party a few months back, but they were both drunk. For some reason though my chest gets tight and I start to feel tears prick at the corner of my eyes.

I have no real need to be jealous, I just got out of a relationship, and I have a great guy who is willing to wait for me. None of those things really matter though, I felt something with Shawn that last day in LA, and I've just chosen to ignore it because of the mess that's been going on.

I get up and decide to meet Sophie for lunch at her school, the only class she had today was at nine this morning, so the whole rest of her day is free. I've also been thinking about going back soon, so I definitely want to go and spend time with her before I leave.

Climbing into my moms car, my phone rings, startling me. It's Shawn.

I roll my eyes and answer it with a sigh.

"Hey"

"Hi darling, I just wanted to see how you were doing", he says

Darling, I scoff

"Hows Hailey", I say, in a biting voice

I hear him give and exasperated sigh from his side of the line,"fucking hell Hayden are you serious?". I've never heard him sound this annoyed before, and I don't know how to respond.

"Is she your girlfriend?", I say, my voice getting softer by every word.

I hear him sigh from his end of the call and he says my name so harshly I jump a little bit, "No, but god why would it matter, you just got out of a relationship, we shouldn't be acting like this".

My cheeks burn and my eyes start to prick with tears, he's mostly right though. How messed up would it be of me to pick him right after I told Nate no because I'm still getting over Chase.