Caught In The Gray

Chapter Twelve

Entry Eight

I kissed her. I don't regret it, I couldn't help myself. Adabelle radiates a beauty that she doesn't even know she possesses and I can't stay away from her, I'm drawn to her. She tastes sweet but there's a darker side to it, it's hard to describe, but harder to stay away from.

I feel that my parents reached a new low. Them not approving of my choices is fine, but going after Adabelle is an entirely different thing. I can't believe them. My father especially was being horrid. I don't want to think about them.

I feel something for her and I can't name it, it's something that I've never felt before. I just want to be around her, see her smile, see her. Be with her. I wonder how far thing would've gone had Eloisa not interpreted us.

The only thing that matters and that I care about right now is her.

I take a drink of my coffee and look up as Alaric walks into the kitchen. It's been a day since we kissed. Neither of us has said anything. I want to say something, but I need to sort some things out which I plan to do today.

I finish eating and drinking my coffee, I stand up and move to put the dishes in the sink. "Hey, I have to be to the Medical center early, so I should leave now, I say and Alaric looks up from digging through the pantry.

"Okay, I'll see you for dinner," he says and I nod. I grab my backpack from the table and start walking out the door. I have a plan for today.

I need to figure things out with Sebastian. I can't deny that I'm attracted to him but yesterday, kissing Alaric felt entirely different than kissing Sebastian. There's something about Alaric, being with Alaric that feels so different.

An electricity between us, when we touch, when we kissed...it felt like everything fell away, like everything was telling me to be with him. I don't know how I feel, how I should act, the only idea I have is to see how it feels with Sebastian and than decide what to do.

The Base comes into the view and I shift my backpack. I walk up and push the doors open. I walk up the stairs and raise my hand to knock on Sebastian's door. Just I bring my fist to knock, the door swings open and Sebastian runs into me.

We both go toppling to the floor, him landing on top of me. We stare at each other for a few seconds before recognition flashes in his eyes. "Sorry, Belle," he says and helps me up.

"It's cool. Can you go with me to the Medical center? I don't have a pass yet," I say and he nods.

"Sure, just let me get a few things," he says and moves back into his room. He shoves something in his pocket and closes the door, joining me outside. We start walking down towards the Transit. I don't know what to say, what always felt ease with Sebastian now feels awkward, my mind wandering to Alaric.

Sebastian and I walk in silence as we move towards the Transit. After a few minutes, he has his keycard in the slot and presses the code into the box. We step onto the platform where the whooshing sound of the Transit greets us.

I step onto the Transit with Sebastian behind me. Once I sit down, his arm drapes around my shoulder and I lean into him. The Transit pulled away and I look up at him, he's smiles at me and leans down to bend his head.

His lips touch mine in a slow sweet kiss. I bring my hands up to cup his face and his move down to tangle in my hair. It's slow and sweet and it feels nice, but my mind goes back to when Alaric and I kissed. It was hot and hungry and passionate and there was electricity coursing between us.

I move to slide onto his lap and helps me, his hands straying to my hips. I wait for the kiss to become more intense, but it doesn't. It stays at sweet and slow. I kiss Sebastian harder, my strokes becoming more desperate but it stays at the same pace.