Caught In The Gray

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Linc looks up ad I walk into the staff lounge. It's been a few days since Fiona died. "Hey," he says, pulling on his lab coat.

"Hi," I say and set my bag down.

"How're you doing?" Linc asks and I look at him.

"I'm okay," I say and he nods. "I'm going to go and see Genevieve," I say.

"Okay," Linc says. I start walking towards her room. I knock on the door and step inside.

"Hi," I say and Genevieve smiles.

"Hi," she says. "What's going on with you? You've been a mess for a few days," Genevieve says.

"I don't know, I'm conflicted over everything going on with Alaric and everything going on here." I say and she nods.

"Do you love Alaric?"

"Yes," I say, sitting down.

"Then why aren't you with him?" Genevieve asks.

"Because I feel like I can't be with him. I feel like if I am, then I'm betraying everyone here. It's like I'm in the middle of wanting to be with him and the Epidemic's," I say and Genevieve nods.

"What's keeping you in the middle?"

"I love him and I want to be with him, but I feel like I can't," I say.

"So, is love more important than medicine or is medicine more important than love?" Genevieve asks and I frown, thinking about it.

"I don't know," I say. "How are you feeling about all this?" I ask, changing the subject.

"I've come to peace with it." Genevieve says. She looks at me, something in her eyes. "Will you find me some paper and a pen?" she asks.

"Sure," I say and stand up. I walk out of her room and up to the staff lounge. I grab my backpack and dig through it for a pen. I grab a few pieces of paper from my journal and walk back to Genevieve's room.

I knock on the door and open it, Genevieve looks up. "Here," I say handing her the paper.

"Thanks," she says, smiling.

"Can I get anything else for you?" I ask and she shakes her head. "Bye," I say, smiling.

"Adabelle?" Genevieve asks.

"Yes?"

"Choose love," Genevieve says and I smile. I wave and walk out of her room, pulling the door shut. I feel like I need something to do, I walk around for a few minutes. I walk to the file room and start organizing all the files.

It feels good to be doing something. I grab a box of files and start putting them in their respective places. Putting away the files is calming, it gives me a clear head and something to think about.

If I love Alaric then I feel like that should be enough, but I feel like there's something keeping me from him. I should be able to love him and I do, but there's something that's keeping me from him and I feel like it may be myself.

I sigh and pick up another box of files. I put all the files away and I wander out of the file room. I stand in front of a window and stare outside. The sky is darkening and it looks like it's going to rain. I turn away and frown as I see people rushing towards something.

I follow them and they end up by Genevieve's room. I push past them and open her door. "Genevieve?" I ask, stepping inside. I look around her room, fronwing and then I see her. "Genevive," I say, falling to knees, she's laying on the ground, blood pooling around her. There's a scalpel stuck in her chest. People rush into her room and I sit there, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Are you Adabelle?" someone asks and I open my eyes, standing up.

"Yes," I say.

"Here," she says, handing me a note. Adabelle is scrolled across the front.

"Thanks," I say, taking it. I sit down in the chair by Genevieve's bed and open it.

Adabelle,

I'm sorry that it had to end this way. I couldn't bring Wells into this world, knowing that he would have the Epidemic's. I wish you the best in life and I have one thing to say.

Chose Alaric, chose love. Love is the most important thing in life, love is the one thing to live for. Life isn't fair and it's short. My great love may not have worked out for me, but you have a different fate.

The only thing keeping you from Alaric is yourself.

Love, Genevieve

My eyes scan over the note, reading it a second and third time. I wipe the tears from my eyes and stand up, I stare at the empty bed. Genevieve's body is gone, the blood wiped away. I fold the note run it between my fingers, thoughts coursing through my head.

If I love Alaric, than why can't I be with him? I've blamed the Epidemic's and the choice that Alaric made, but it doesn't matter. The Epidemic's won't stop, nothing will stop because I chose not to be with him, not to love him.

Nothing will stop because I'm punishing us for something that won't stop; it won't make a difference.

There's no reason why I shouldn't be with Alaric, Genevieve was right; I'm the thing keeping myself from Alaric.

I grab my backpack from the staff lounge and the realization hits with stunning clarity and all my thoughts and emotions click into place.

I'm running to get to him, I run out the doors of the Medical center and I run to the Transit. I slide onto the Transit and it feel like I won't get there fast enough, I have to tell him. After what feels like a century, I step off the Transit and run to the Base.

I run up to his office and he isn't there. "Do you know where Alaric Reed is?" I ask the first person I see.

"Yes, he went home," she says, smiling.

'Thank you," I say and then I'm running again. The rain is pouring as I run back home and I see Alaric walking. "Alaric!" I yell and he turns around frowning.

"What're you doing?" he asks and stops walking. I crash into him and my arms wrap around him. "Adabelle, are you okay?" Alaric asks, his eyes concerned.

"Yes," I say and then my lips are on his. My backpack falls to the ground and Alaric's hands drop his bag. He kisses me back and my lips are desperate against his, trying to tell him everything.

My fingers run through his wet hair and he hoists me up so that I'm straddling him. His hands wander down my back and settle on my hips. Being with Alaric feels so right, it feels like I'm completed.

The kiss deepens and I'm gasping for air, trying to breathe in Alairc. "Adabelle," Alaric breathes pulling away, his forehead resting against mine.

"I love you," I say and his gray eyes are surprised. "I've loved you the whole time and I knew that I did, but I felt like I couldn't be with you because of the Epidemic's. I was so stupid, not letting myself love you was a mistake and it was all my fault." I say and look at him.

"Be with me," Alaric says, his hands wipe the wet hair away from my face. I nod and his lips find mine again. The kiss is tortuously sweet, his lips caressing mine and my mouth is seared by the sweetness of his.

The rain pelts down and thunder rumbles and we remain locked in the moment, time fading away as it becomes the two of us and only us.

Entry Thirteen

Adabelle should be awake soon, it's almost morning. She looks so beautiful, the sheets tangled around her and her hair a mess. Last night, I can't even describe, it was amazing and we're finally together.

Love is everything.

-Alaric Reed