Caught In The Gray

Chapter Twenty-One

Entry Eleven

Fuck, I messed it up. We were finally together, she had said yes and than it came crashing down. It was all because of a stupid mistake I made and now she can't even look at me. She didn't come home last night and I was barely able to sleep.

Damn, I ruined us and I'd do anything to get back.

I slept at the Medical center last night. I couldn't go back to Alaric's house. I think that he's at the Base right now, so I can go back, shower and change into new clothes. I'm not sure what I'm going to do tonight, but I'll figure it out.

"I'm going to leave for a few hours, I can come back for the night shift," I say and Linc nods.

"Let me know if you need anything." Linc says and I nod. I briefly explained what happened when I confronted the Military Commander and Linc guessed that something happened with Alaric and didn't press for details.

I push open the doors to exit the Medical center and rub my eyes. I could barely sleep last night, my thoughts were keeping me up. The thought of Alaric kept haunting me. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that the Epidemic's vaccine was what was causing people to get the Epidemic's.

I sigh and step onto the Transit. I rub my forehead and think about what I'm going to do. At Alaric's house I can take a shower and grab clothes to last a few days, maybe even sleep for a few hours.

The Transit pulls to a stop and I step off, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. I start walking towards Alaric's house with my head lost inthoughts. Rosy greets me when I step inside and I smile, stopping to pet her.

I walk down the hall to my room and grab a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom. I turn on the water and strip before stepping under. The water feels nice and I go through the motions before I step out.

I clean away the condensation on the mirror and look at myself in the mirror. I look bad, there are circles under my eyes and they're red and puffy from crying. My face looks sad, the green of my eyes is darkened from it's usual bright shade.

I slip on the new change of clothes and walk back to my room. Rosy is laying on the bed and I lay down next to her. I roll to the side and the scent of Alaric hits me I'm trapped as memories of him flood my mind.

I think about all the times that I slept next to him, all the mornings I woke up next to him, all the times that he smiled and his gray eyes lit up. All the shades that his expressive eyes have and every time were happy. Everytime we kissed, every time we touched, every moment we spent together.

I start crying again, fully realizing everything that was lost. I stand up, I can't sleep in the bed anymore. I walk to my closest and grab a few days worth of clothes. I put them into my backpack and I pet Rosy before I leave.

"Bye, Rosy," I say and she licks my face, affectionately. I walk out the door and let my feet carry me. I don't where I'm going, my mind is a mess and my body is taking over. I end up on the Transit again and when it pulls to a stop, I step off.

I stop walking a while later and realize that I'm standing in front of my mom's store. I push open the door and the bell jingles. My mom steps into the room a few moments later and her face falls when she sees me. "Adabelle, what's wrong?" she asks, taking my hands in hers.

"Can I stay with you for a few days?" I ask, sniffling.

"Of course, honey." Mom says, pulling me into a hug. I close my eyes and rest my head on her shoulder. Tears start falling down my cheeks and then I'm sobbing, letting all the sadness out. My mom holds me and lets me cry.