I WANNA BE WITH YOU

CHAPTER 15: I WANNA BE WITH YOU

NIALLS POV:

Scarlet stayed in the hotel when I went to go talk to Paul. She seemed sort of scared that it was Harriet. I don’t want her to feel unsafe. I got to his room, room 317 and walked in without a knock. He was sitting there watching the rugby games on his iphone like normal in his PJ’s. 

“Paul, I’ve got a problem.” I can feel my eyes getting wet. Pacing back and forth with my hand on my mouth thinking about what could happen if Harriet ever did something to Scar. I know what she can do, and she will fight ‘till she wins. 

Paul looked at me with a strange expression. 

“Listen, have you seen the news? Do you remember my ex Harriet? You and her got along well… but she’s back and she hurt Scar and-” I broke off there because I couldn’t stand thinking about it. Paul hugged me like he always does when any of the boys are upset. He’s so much of a father to us. “Niall. Do you want me to send someone in to guard her?” He always new the answer to everything. I pulled away and agreed. “Could you do that for me? That would make everything so much better.” Without hesitation Paul replied patting my head “Anything Niall, anything for you ya little leprechaun.” I felt so relieved. Paul told me Preston would be coming to guard her whenever we go out, and to keep watch for Harriet incase she pops up. 

Scarlet was well known what the plan was. I told Preston if me and her are out then I wouldn’t need him. I do like alone time, without guards. 

It was 12:00 already, Scar was showering and putting her makeup on with her jewelry. I wish she wouldn’t wear all those things and paint all over her face like it’s a canvas. 

I walked up behind her in the mirror and she put her eyeliner down. Holding her head to force her to look into the mirror I said “Look at you. You have all this makeup on yet you look beautiful without it. Isn’t it uncomfortable?” She gave me a sour look. “You don’t like it?” 

I felt horrible saying what I said but she just can’t do this anymore, when I met her she never did..

“I’m not saying I don’t like it. I’m just saying I like to see your imperfections instead of this.” She took her hand up and smudged her eye makeup. “Darling, you don’t have to change it. You look beautiful both ways.” She didn’t seem upset when she looked up at me. “Thank you.” 

I was confused at why she would thank me. Aren’t girls overly obsessed with how boys see them? “You’re not mad at me?” I asked her. She took out her wipes and patted it on her eyes removing all of the black sticky gunk. “I’m not mad Niall. I’m glad you told me the truth. I really think I was losing myself there.. ” She was done removing her second face and got up from the chair placing her hands on my hips. “You look gorgeous now.” I looked into her hazel eyes and kissed her on the forehead. She was so beautiful, inside and out. 

At 12:45 I had a sound check. I felt horrible leaving Scar in the hotel but then I remembered she had Shane. Wow I keep forgetting Shane’s her brother, its like they never talk anymore. Maybe I should have him steal her away for a night. She kissed me goodbye and I was on my way meeting the boys at the van behind Mohegan. When I got there I was 5 minutes late and they were all complaining at me. I wasn’t in the mood for there crap, I just want to be with Scar again.

*  *  *  *

SCARLETS POV:

I feel like shit. Harriet. That’s the girl who said those words that keep repeating in my head. “you are worthless” I hear it echo through my ears like I’m in an empty room and it’s on repeat. I feel like I could literally curl up and die right here. I pushed my back up against the wall and slid down with tears falling down my cheek. If only Niall saw what I was doing right now. I just feel horrible. What have I done to her? What did I ever do to make her hate me so much?

I have this feeling under the skin on my wrist. The feeling I used to get when I would cut. And right now I feel like that’s my last resort. I got up, eyes red and puffy and took the razor from my shaver. I placed it right up against my vein. I looked and I saw myself in the mirror. This broken girl. And then I thought “I could literally end my life. Right here. Right now.” But Niall. I can’t do this to him. I got overwhelmed and the blade fell to the floor. All I can see is darkness. That’s all i’ll ever see.

**later that day**

NIALLS POV: 

“Scar, I’m back!” No sign of shane, must be out or something. Scar didn’t answer until I walked into the bedroom seeing a foot pop out of the bathroom door. I rushed over to her seeing the blade on the floor. Holy shit, she can’t be cutting again. I took her in my arms and shook her awake. She woke up, eyes fluttering. Thank god I can see her eyes once again staring into mine.

SCARLETS POV: 

I felt warm hands against my bare arms. I shoved my eyes open trying to unblur my vision. When I focused in his face was pained. Without words he reached for the blade and put it on the counter. He pulled his hands under my body and held me bridal style over to the couch. He laid me down and went into the kitchen. 

I laid there looking out of the window in front of me watching the black clouds roll in and the rain gently hit. It’s like the world knew how I was feeling. 

Niall came back in after a few minutes with a small blanket and a cup of hot chocolate. I haven’t had that in years.. I pushed my body up and grabbed the cup from his hands. I took a sip and he just watched me. Then out of nowhere he said “I love you. And that’s all that matters right now.” his voice was hushed and meaningful. “I know you feel pressured. I know all you want to do is go out and have some tea or walk down the street without this attention, and most of all not feel threatened by Harriet. But, it’s alright to be sad.You should have called me. If you ever feel like you’re going to hurt yourself, you must tell me. I’ll do anything for you love. You know that. You’re my everything, if I lost you today I honestly don’t know what I would do with myself.” His eyes were glassy like he was going to cry but I knew he was secretly trying to hold it in for me. “I’m sorry Niall.” I said. I feel so disappointed in myself. I don’t want him to be worried about me all the time. I feel like I’m such a big bother.

He reached over to hold me, having my head in his chest and smelling his cologne always makes me feel like home. Anytime i’m with him, I know I am home.