Fucking Feelings

Chapter 6

The bell rang and I stood up from the seat with a happy face. I almost tarried the lesson. Martinus still sat in the first seat. I started to imagine what if Martinus love me back. My lips were involuntarily smiling.

"Marcus Gunnarsen, think u that the second world war was funny?" 
"What?" 

"You smiled without stop. Don't try to tell me that u not." 

"I'm really sorry." the teacher look at me with frowning facial expression. I was look at Martinus one last time and started to read my history book. The lesson is over. I put my bag to my back and left from the classroom. The next lesson was P.E. I grabed my sport stuff and went to the dressing-room. We changed our clothes. I saw how Martinus undressing. He was almost nacked. I blushed.

"Hey, Marcus?" someone yelled to me. "Got u horny because of your brother?" Magnus asked me with a devilish smile on his face.

"What?" I was redder than ever. "I'm not." I couldn't talk. Martinus was looked at me with an uncomprehending look. He saw too that I was red. 

"Gay!" Magnus yelled and everybody started to laughing.

"You, guys aren't normal." I said and left from the room. I was close to cry but I needed to be strong. If would I cried they would realize that I'm really in love with Tinus. But I couldn't hold my tears back. I heard that someone closed the door behind my back. This person ran after me. Touched my shoulder. I looked at him, it was Martinus. 

"Wipedown your tears." - he gave me the order. "They don't deserve your sadness!" he said and hugged me. I hugged him back tightly. Maybe I can't be his bodyguard, but he is perfect to be mine. He pulled me away and wiped my tears down. He again pulled me into a hug. But he soon cut it off(?), cuz our classmates were came. This P.E. was a suffer. I really wanted the school's end. I wanted to go home and just thinking over everything while I lay on my bed. Whether Martinus realized that I'm a gay? And feels he the same? Lucy said that. Can I believe Lucy, by the way? Why I should to do it? Maybe she lied to me. But which reasons had her? I shouted with her. Rightful. And this mistakable hug from Martinus!? What was his message with that? Maybe, Okay bro no problem, I love u too. In the same way how u do. or No problem they all just kidding. I can't live with these feelings.