I stay up late at night,
watching the clock,
my phone's screen light drowns out a little darkness.
I'm waiting for your message,
I'm waiting for your smile,
it's foolish-
hoping for something that doesn't exist.
I tell myself that you'll be happy
if I started loving myself a little more,
but can you see?
Can you see how hard it is?
You closed the door in my face
and left me on my knees,
I feel half-alive-
almost like you took some pieces
of my heart and
of my sanity.
I don't really know what to feel.
I'm crying,
I'm losing my mind-
the pain is physical
and too real to hide.
"Where are you?!" I scream,
but there was no answer...
because, if you were here,
I would feel better.
I don't really know if I want you to come back,
because I wouldn't know if I should seethe in anger
or welcome you.
I don't know whether just to stand back and watch you lie
or to tell you what I feel?
I gave you my heart and you it ripped out of my chest-
it's just a blobby mess
at the side of the road
where you ran over it with a plane
and left.
I realize that it's two AM.
It's too late
for me to sleep
and escape my fate.
