Surprise (English) ft One Direction & 5SOS

Chapter 19.1

Rose:

It's evening and everyone has made their bed ready to sleep in.

*knock knock*

'Come inside!', and I open the door for Niall.

"Shall we go for dinner downstairs in the restaurant? I'm hungry".

I look at Harry, Liam and Ashton.

"Sure!", and Liam already stands up.

"I'm coming with you", and Harry stands up as well.

"We'll come in a few minutes", Ashton says and nods at me.

"Great! I'm gonna get the others!", and Niall haappily walks away.

"See you in the restaurant", and Liam closes the door behind him.

I look at Ashton.

"I just wanted to say thank you. If you didn't give me that piece of bread I don't know what would have happened. When I woke up, I ate the whole piece of bread", and he sounds proud.

'That's great Ashton!', and I give him a hug.

'Are you feeling better now?'.

"Yes".

"That's great!", and we walk to the restaurant looking for the others.

"Are you guys okay after what happened in the elevator?", Liam asks worried.

I told him that I was scared when it happened the first time. Liam is the one who knows how bad I'm doing and what I am afraid for. I trust him.

'Yes', Ashton and I say at the same time and we laugh.

Honestly, I'm still not feeling that well, but I don't want the rest to know.

It's been a week since I've cut myself. Since the boys are living with me or since I live with them, whatever it is, since then I couldn't cut myself. I don't want the boys to know I cut myself. I don't want to worry them. Maybe they already know, who knows. But as long as I won't start talking about it, it's good.

But at this moment I feel so bad that I really wanna cut myself again. Or scratch. That's also a good option. Scratches are gone after a few hours, so less change someone will notice them.

Liam:

I guess Rose forgot I can read minds... I don't want her to hurt herself. Since her parents can't care for Rose, we have to do that.

I feel a strong sense of responsibility coming. But I can't say anything right now. Not with all the boys around us.

Rose:

The waiter gives us all a menu cart. We all order a pizza and play a game who finishes their pizza first. Niall wins of course.

Everybody finished their pizza, even Ashton did.

"So, what shall we do now?", Louis asks when we walk back to our rooms. We take the stairs, because I will NOT take the elevator again!

'I want to visit my parents and brother if you guys don't mind'.

"Of course we don't mind Rose!", Louis says sweet.

"I want to visit my Mum too", Harry says silent.

"Do you guys want us to go with you?", Niall asks sweet.

'I prefer going on my own, but you can come after 15 minutes or something if you like'.

"Sure! And you Hazz?", Louis asks.

"The same as Rose".

"Alright, then we'll see you guys in 15 minutes. Good luck!", and Louis walks to his room.

'Do you want to visit Luke, Calum?', I ask silent. He nods.

'Do you want to go alone or do you prefer going with someone else?'.

"I prefer not to go alone", he answers silent.

"I can go with you if you like?" Michael asks gently.

"Yes please".

I walk to my room and put some things in my bag. I look around to see with what I can cut myself. I see the small scissors and quickly put it in my bag.

Together with Harry, Calum and Michael we walk to the hospital. I hold my bag close to me. I don't want anyone to know what's in it. I'm just scared someone will know what I'm going to do.

Shit! And I stand still.

"Everything okay Rose?", Michael asks worried when he sees my big eyes.

'Y..Yes'.

"Are you sure?".

'Yes, it's.. it's just a stitch in my head'.

"Okay, if you need anything or anyone just ask okay?".

'Thank you Michael', and I fake a smile, which he luckily doesn't see.

To be honest, it wasn't a stitch in my head. I just realized that Liam can read minds as well. What if he read my mind in the restaurant? What if he knows I wanna cut myself again?

I don't dare to look back and quickly walk inside with the other boys.

Thousand thoughts are spinning through my head. I can't restrain them anymore. Even if I want it so badly, I can't.

When we arrive at our floor I wait till the others walked into their room before I walk to the toilets.

I wanna cut myself before Liam can stop me, if he would.

I walk into a toilet and lock the door behind me. Nobody will be able to see me here. And even if Liam wants to stop me, he's a boy so he isn't allowed to go here.

I cut myself on my wrist, because that was the first place I saw some skin.

After a few cuts I feel a lot better. I clean my cuts and put on my vest, which I wore on my hips before we went to the hospital.