It hurts me to love you...

Was there a reason?

Sooyoung's POV

I met him at a bar. A gay bar.

When he walked in, he looked like a walking sin, like real life art came to life.

He was fierce, his eyes shone and his hips swayed, maybe unintentionally, when he walked my way. When he got closer I could also see that his plush lips weren't covered up, but let natural. They looked really soft, and kissable.

To be honest I never expected to see him there. But hey, new surprises everyday, am I right?

When I sat down next to him, I could smell his minty Cologne. I also could smell peaches and strawberries in his scent, that he seemed to wanna cover up by putting too much Cologne on.

When he sat down and he had looked so small and lost right there, right then. He looked like the perfect prey...

I licked my lips and smirked at him when he caught my gaze from afar.  He didn't seem to get aroused though, instead he looked nervous and uncomfortable, that made me slightly irritated, but I kept up the façade.

I stalked towards him, the way a predator would to his prey, and I was planning on pouncing on him tonight too, if you get what I mean...

When I plopped down next to him, his hold on a glass of mojito tightened. But he didn't look away.

Man how I would love to make him mine, to keep him, to possess him...

~ Time skip to the end of the night~

I was able to get him to drink a little, but apparently he hadn't lied when he told me that he was a lightweight.
But that didn't matter cause I had a sexy mochi all over me, though there was something that really irked me, he was always mentioning that younger kid, Jungkook. Jungkook this, Jungkook that, I got fed up with it and decided to take him home.

Let's say that I did get to pounce on his round ass that night, and it had been the best sex ever, but I wasn't satisfied. Now that I had a taste of him, I wanted more. I wanted to crawl under his skin, to never let him out again.

He made me seem mad.

When he woke up his words made me frustrated even though I should have expected them,  I mean he is a star, he doesn't have the time to date right now...

But still, his words made something ugly roar up in my chest.

So I grabbed his wrist painfully and forced him to promise to give me a chance. He was scared of me, I could see it, but he acted tough, how cute.

After that amazing night I took him on a couple of dates but he never let me have him again, or taste those sweet plump lips, he didn't even let me hold his small soft hands. Always finding an excuse. He was so fucking frustrating, but I couldn't let him go now that I had had a taste of what he's got to offer.

But then he always found excuses to not meet up with me, and I got more and more pent up. I tried to get him drunk and even drug him, but he somehow ended up escaping each time, again and again.

So it wasn't surprising that I ended up fucking a random female against the wall of an empty alleyway.
What was surprising was the fact that Jiminnie's bunny boy saw me. I could see it on his face, the panick, then the shock and finally the disgust. But no matter how noble he was I knew almost for sure that he wouldn't say anything to Jiminnie. He was too afraid to hurt him.
But who knows? A man can get desperate and do things that hurt their loved ones just to manipulate them and get them into their grasp, I knew that from experience.

But after that Jimin-hyung -oh yeah he's my Hyung didn't I tell you that? Do y'all know how powerful you'll feel when someone older than you is under you? - didn't respond to me anymore. At first I thought that I had made a mistake in judgement and that Jungkook did end up telling him of my night escapade. He didn't, because when Jiminnie came one last time to my home, to break it off officially, he didn't mention anything that could suggest that he knew.

But I couldn't let him get away, I begged and grovelled at his feet, I even hit him just to end up apologizing and grovelling at his feet again. Fuck what had I done.

Why!? Why? Oh, why?!

But he didn't budge and just stood up and left. It made me sad, but then furious... How dare he leave me for that bignosed brat?

After that I ended up drinking and fell into despair. I woke up every damn morning next to another warm body.

But this all came to a head when one night I slept with a guy who eerily resembled him. I decided that if I couldn't have the real thing, I at least could have him. But that one-night stand turned into multiple nights and after a while I even began to love him.

But then he found a picture of me and Jiminnie. He was smart, so he directly knew why I had clamped myself so hard onto him.

His exact words were : " Sooyoung-ah, I love you, I really do but as long as you cannot forget about him I can't be with you... I cannot subject myself to this again, I also want to be the number one in someone's heart, please understand why I do this.... I'll wait for you..."

So he packed his stuff and left. All because of him, everything was because of him.

That night I got immensely drunk and kept drinking in the morning. Around lunchtime I sneaked into Bighit's building. I would get him back for this, how could he think that he'll get away with taking my anchor, my sanity away. So when I saw him nearing my hiding place I stopped breathing. He stopped right in front of the door, that I was hiding behind. Before I could rethink my actions my drunk mind told me to grab him.

So that's what I ended up doing. I grabbed him and dragged him into the dark room. He looked scared.

When I looked better at him  I noticed that he had gotten skinnier, bonier.
I said things to him that made him scared but I don't remember what I said. I only remember that when that bignosed Alpha boy punched me, I started taunting him. I wanted him to hit me, I itched for a fight.

But then the rest of his group came and the leader Namjoon, stopped him before he could do me any damage.

When I saw them all trying to enter the room I smirked one last time at Jungkook, before whispering "Sayonara" into Jiminnie's ear and leaving.

When I came home my tears wouldn't stop. Why? Why? Why?

I heard a soft knock on my door, it was my sweetheart. He had come back.

He's giving one last chance and I better not ruin it. I won't, I won't ruin it.

I'll take this chance with both hands, and I'll thank Jimin-hyung for him. Because if hadn't met Jiminnie, then I for sure wouldn't have met the love of my life.

But Jimin-hyung, know this. I never meant to hurt you the way I did. My love towards you had turned toxic. I realized that I never could be the right one for you, so maybe that buck teethed bunny is the right one for you... No matter what I wish you luck, I hope that you'll end up finding your soulmate in him.