CALL IT SUICIDE

Suicide: 8.Loghan's P.O.V

Its quiet, I bet that everyone thinks i'm done!

It was now 12 P.M and I was still awaiting for my foster mother to get here so I could go home. A few minutes passed and arrived. She looked at me then at the principal's office and shook her head, and she went inside without saying a word to me. I scoffed and decided that I had enough so I got up and made my way home. I started to walk as the cool breeze engulfed my face and my hair was all over the place. I put my hands in my pocket and started to sing Remember who I was by James Arthur. 

"Loghan!!", I heard my foster mother yell my name but I didn't turn around.

I heard footsteps coming my way and I started to walk faster, she started to run but I wasn't in the mood so I slowed down. After 5 minutes she caught up to me and swung me around as I looked at her with a straight face because I expected this. "Loghan where are you going?!" she half-yelled which caused me to look away from her and ignore her. "Loghan answer me!!", she yelled in my face. "As if you would even care!" I gave her a response, she was taken a back, she left go of me and her mouth flew open.

I scoffed and turned back around and continued to walk, but before I could take another step she held onto me and swung me back around. "Loghan I do care about you or else I would have thrown you out, your my son and I love you" she said, she thought that I was gonna be all lovey dovey and kiss her and skip on home with her but I know better than that, I rolled my eyes and shook my head. 

"If you "loved" me you would feed me and ask me what was one my mind and not take your boyfriend's words against mine!!" I yelled at her, I had a short temper. She was speechless and I scoffed again. "Loghan really?" she asked as I folded my arms. She put her hands akimbo and she thought about something, "Well then if that's how you feel then maybe you should go live with someone else, i'll call your case worker tomorrow and tell her that you want new foster parents cause I don't love you", she said as if she was hurt. ''I ain't going back to no foster home!", I half-yelled.

We stood there in silence, "Then what do you want from me Loghan!!", she yelled.

"Nothing!!", I yelled back as I ran away from her. Tears escaped my eyes and a sense of unwantedness washed over me. F**k love, f**k life, f**k everyone and everything!!!

I'm done, i'm just done with everything I swear!! I wished I had died with my parents.

I ran and ran and ran until I found myself at an abandoned rail way. I laid down on the track and placed my hands over my Heart as tears kept coming and coming. My head was killing me because of all the thoughts and mixed emotions rushing through my head, I over thinked too much. I put too much pressure on my brain. One day imma explode.

My eyes were sore and so was my brain. I sighed and waited for a train to come and run me over. I suffered so much and I didn't have anyone to talk to or anyone to care enough to even ask me if I was okay, they just judged me, I ain't no bad boy, never was, never will be. I'm even a virgin, aren't bad boys not virgins?

My head started to hurt even more as the sun came out. I groaned and turned. I laid there for an hour until I decided to take a walk somewhere, wherever my legs took me that's where I was gonna stay. I got up and started to walk in the opposite direction right on the track. I walked and walked until I reached in a town where there were small houses and bars. I walked in one of the many bars and sat down on one of the stools as the bartender looked at me weirdly then headed my way.

"What can I get you, some water?", she asked me as she wiped the glass that was in her hands and then she pushed back her golden, short hair to the side and adjusted her apron. She wore a short shorts and a white crop top as to impress the men, she was alright. "Nah i'm okay just tired from walking, i'll be out in a minute okay", I replied to her as she raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you suppose to be at school young man?" she asked me curiously as she placed her left arm in front of me. I looked at it then back at her as she waited for an answer, "What does that have to do with you?" I asked with an attitude.

"Nothing I was just asking, are you lost?" she asked me, I stood up because i'm easily annoyed and I was getting annoyed by not just her looks but by her voice. She watched my every mood, the bar was loud and filled with drunk men and it reeked of alcohol so it was hard to even hear her. I looked at her one last time before I walked out. I started to walk back to the rail way and decided to go back to school, I did so and to my surprise my foster mother wasn't there. I sighed and decided to go home because school was over.

I started to walk but suddenly a feeling that someone was following me entered my mind. I looked back but saw no one and just shrugged it off. I walked through a rich neighbour until I reached the highway, I was almost home. I arrived at my neighbourhood and sighed as I walked, children swarmed the streets and I saw people arguing and yelling. I rolled my eyes as I walked in the middle of the road not giving a f**k. I looked around as people watched my walk by, I hated this neighbour! 

I arrived home and the door was open, I heard my foster mother and Stanley arguing, this was normal so I just ignored them. I closed the door and plumped down on the couch, I kicked my feet up on the coffee table and took a deep breath. The arguing got louder as they both entered the living room and I rolled my eyes. 

"There he is!!" Stanley yelled which caused me to turn around and glare at him as his fists were clenched and my foster mother's right eye was black and swollen and had tears coming from it. I shot up and ran over to her. "The f**k Stanley!!!", I yelled at him as I clenched my fists and turned my attention to him. I cared about my foster mother but I wouldn't say I loved her,because if she didn't take me in I would probably still be in foster care and I hated that place, as much as we argue she was the best foster parents i've had and I did appreciate her but didn't know how to show her.

"Why don't you pick one someone your own size you big ugly ass mofo!!" I yelled as I got closer to him, he stepped back."Loghan please leave it alone", my foster mother as she tried not to cry, I was angry as hell. "Yeah its none of your business little boy!!!" Stanley yelled, I creaked my neck towards him and he stepped back. I didn't hesitate to punch him in his right eye so he could feel how it felt. My foster mother's mouth flew open as Stanley fell to the ground. I looked at him with so much rage and hatred and I wanted so badly to kill him. "Loghan I said to stop it!!" my foster mother yelled as I looked back at her in disbelief. "I should kill this b*tch your the one with the black eye!!!" I yelled at her as she stepped back.

I tried to calm down but that wasn't happening. "Look Loghan Stanley and I were discussing something and...." she started to talk but she looked down, I knew it was bad news.

................................................................................................................................................................

Ikrazii_qxeen