Living Lies ✜ Hunger Games x Reader

The Mansion

(A/N: This is long; 4000 words. Whoa. But I enjoyed writing it.

And also, in advance, I'm sorry. But on the bright side, congrats to Gale fans!

*****

Despite the fact that you, frankly, just met Cressida that day, you trust her, for some reason. She may be from the Capitol, but watching her friends die didn't fully deter her from continuing on, despite phasing her slightly. She seems fully committed to Katniss' plan.

Still, you couldn't help but question her motives when you first saw the owner of the safe house she led you to. When you were little, your father used to joke about creatures who lived in different lands—zebras. Were they black with white stripes? Or white with black stripes? A question that survived the test of time, at least for your family.

Well, you think to yourself with wryness, this woman Tigris—did she start off with the name Tigris, and then turn into a tiger to fit her name, or start off like a tiger and adopt the name to complete the ensemble?

"Not to sound like an asshole," you speak up in the dead silence of the room, startling the few left of your friends in the basement, "but this isn't how I pictured my first day on the squad ending."

Raine shoots you a teary-eyed glance from across the room, and you can't tell if she really is angry at you for Lance's death, or just bitter and hurting in the immediate aftermath. You hope it's the latter. She may have just wandered into your life today, but you'd hate to lose her comradery over the day's course of events.

The basement is dark, and even though it isn't small by any means, your group remains clumped together. Katniss is next to you, still shaken from what just happened. Gale, despite your efforts to help, is still injured. Cressida is having her own mourning, over her friends. Even though you know they wouldn't think so, you can't help but feel they blame you.

"I'm sorry," you confess quietly, "if I hadn't stayed back they wouldn't have had to wait for us. If I had just been more focused, we could have saved them. It's my fault. I guess what I was trying to say, without sounding like a jerk, was that if I hadn't come, they might still be alive."

There's a brief second of silence, before Finnick's incredulous voice cuts through. "(Y/n), are you kidding me?" he says disbelievingly. "You saved Gale. You saved me. You can't control what the Capitol does."

"Finnick's right," Katniss pipes up, looking exhausted both physically and mentally, as if she might break down right then and there, "it wasn't your fault, (Y/n). This is on me. I made it up. All of it. There is no special mission from Coin—there's only my plan. Everyone that's dead is dead because of me. I lied. I never meant for any of this to happen. I—I failed. I killed them...and, I'm so sorry.""

You lower your head. "It wasn't just your idea, Kat. We made that decision together. We lied."

"We know," Cressida breaks in tonelessly, "we all knew."

Your gaze flickers to the blonde hesitantly. "Everyone?"

She scoffs lightly. "Do you really believe Jackson thought you had orders from Coin? She trusted Boggs and he clearly wanted you to go on."

You can see the water glistening in her eyes. She's just lost everything. The last thing she wants to listen to is you and Katniss having a debate over whose fault it is. Then again, you and Katniss were always so alike, good at blaming yourselves.

You'd seen Katniss in grief before, that was nothing new, but it hadn't been for a long while. But this was much different. This was vulnerability and guilt, and responsibility. You knew it well. It was everything you suffered in the Games.