Poems Of A Broken Heart

MY LIFE

Dear Sylvia,

            It's been 3 years since my fiancee Jacob left me. He was my life. I loved him and still love him. He left me in the cold to wither and die. He left me for the most horrible thing that could happen to a 26 year old couple that was about to get married and start a family.

              I had a miscarriage. I would have had 3 year old twin girls. I was and still are completely devastated by the miscarriage but Jacob seem to take it worse than me.

           He was so hurt that he even believed it was my fault. He never said so, but whenever I looked in his eyes I could tell that was he wanted to say.

            It got so bad to where the point we ended up postponing the wedding 2 months back because we needed to heal a little. But that ended up to him leaving.  He said he couldn't deal with the fact that he would have been a father but it was all ruined because of the miscarriage.

         I cried and pleaded with him to stay, but it seems the mored I cried the faster he packed. I asked him if he was going to leave me because of something out of my control.  But instead of him giving the answer I though he said " I'm not leaving you because I think it's your fault for losing our twin girls. I was only going to stay with you for them. I've been cheating on you with my old high school flame. I'm sorry but the love I had for you when we were 24 is gone. I can't keep leading you on. Good Bye Sylvia. "

      After he walked out that door 3 years ago I've been in a deep depression. I barely come out of my house unless its to go grocery shopping, work, or visit my mother. My mother constantly tries to make me feel better but all of her attempts fail. I've spent 3 years of my life crying about my dead children and my once lover.

      My depression got to the point I got fired from my old job as weather reporter beacuse my boss told me "You looked too dead on camera. Your not getting us ratings and viewers now."

     He was completely right. I did look dead. I looked dead because I lost 3 people I loved within a 3 month spand. But yet I know he wouldn't care. All he cares about is his money.

      After 2nweeks out of work I had to find another job so I could keep my house. So I got a job a designers assistant. It was familiar with fashion because thats what I studied in high school. I work for a fashion line called 2Twice. It's own by a man named Rayon Lopez.  I work directly for him fixing designs and booking fashion shows.

        From what I've heard Jacob is doing well. He got married to his high school sweetheart and they have 4 children. I'm not the bitter type so im happy he found happiness. I still love him but I'm learning to let that go.

     I haven't even tried dating cause I feel I can't handle it. I have way to much baggage for any man to deal with. But one day I will be able to love once more the way I loved Jacob. But until then, I'll keep on healing.

                           Yours Truly,

                                   Me