Poems Of A Broken Heart

ATTENTION

    Today was filled with me being non-stop on my feet. We had to talk to producers,  audition models, and a bunch of meetings to attend. Today would have been one of my worst days but I was stuck on cloud 9. And this was all over one simple sentence. Well it wasn't just a simple sentence to me. It was the fact my crush actually paid attention and saw that I looked good for once. It made me feel special. I was so happy all day that I actually had a genuine smile for once. I haven't really smiled since I lost my babies and Jacob left.

      It was now 6:15p.m. I had 15 minutes left so I decided to straighten up my office. Rayo- I mean Mr.Lopez was in a conference with Japanese salesmen. Mr.Lopez wants 2twice to go completely world-wide and Japan was the last major country in the world.

           As I was straightening up my office I heard someone come into the office. I went to my door to see who it was. It was Mr.Lopez. He looked frustrated. I decided not to ask him what was wrong. Besides this morning we never really talk unless it's about business. So I walked back inside of my office and sat in my chair. I logged of of my work account on my laptop and made sure I had everything inside of my mini bookbag. I got my phone and played on it for the remaining 15 minutes. As soon as it hit 6:30p.m. I grabbed my mini bookbag and started to leave. I went out my office and saw Mr.Lopez in his office chair writing in a book. I was about to walk out when he stopped me. This is the second time he's done this in 3 years. What in the world happened that was so special today? "Ms.Logan?"I turned around to face him. He looked sad as if he were a 5 year old child whose candy fell on the ground."Yes Mr.Lopez?" "Goodnight." I smiled. That was the first time he has ever told me goodnight in the 3 years i've worked here. I use to say it but it was like he never heard me. "Goodnight Mr.Lopez."I gave him a small smile and closed the door to his office.

     The biggest grin spreaded across my face when I walked down the hall to the elevator. I almost dropped my work laptop from day dreaming. I swiped my key card and the elevator doors opened. I pressed the first floor and felt as the elevator descended. When the elevator stopped I walked out and walked straight to Kelly's front desk. When she looked up at me and saw my smile she started to get all happy.

        "Chia your smiling. Are you on drugs? You sleep with a man today? Your practically glowing!"She said. It made me laugh at her ridiculous questions. "No senorita non of that. He said that I looked beautiful today!" I said squealing like a high school girl. I couldn't contain my over excitement. She was so happy cause this is the first time I have really smiled infront of her. She came from around her desk and engulfed me into a tight embrace. I could help but to hug back.

         When she let go she looked at me. "I'm so happy for you. You finally got this mans attention. He probably couldn't keep his eyes off you",she teased. "Only if you knew,"I mumbled. "What was that?!""Nothing chia nothing." She probably still heard me but decided to drop it. She went back behind her desk and grabbed my laptop. As I handed her my keycard she began to talk to me about the topic again. "So am I friends with this mystery man of yours?"I knew I could trust her but I kind of felt embarrassed that my crush was my boss. It made me seem unprofessional. "Well just know you like him. He's pretty nice. He's a complete gentleman." I said in the most dreamiest voice. Just talking about him made me feel like I was floating in the soft rivers of love. Alot of my poetry has become about him.

        "Your in love. That doesn't sound like no crush. It sound like you wanna marry him."She said. I couldn't help but chuckle. She is too much for me sometimes.

      I said my goodbyes and went on my way my car. I got in and started the engine. It was a 20 minute drive from my job to my house. I parked my car in my driveway. I grabbed my mini bookbag out of the car and started to walk to my house door. I unlocked the door and stepped in. I locked all the locks back on afterwards.

                I went up to my room and placed my mini bookbag on my room couch. I got undressed and proceeded to take a shower. I took about an hour. I'm a complete clean freak. My house is always clean along with my body. I cut the shower and stepped out. I walked into my room and got me some undergarments and pajamas. I put my hair into a messy bun.

     I went downstairs to the kitchen and made me a bowl of Lucky Charms. I really didn't feel like cooking right now. I sat at my island and cut on the livingroom tv. I absolutely love cartoons like Tom and Jerry and Dexter. They give me a little giggle here and there. After I finished my bowl of cereal I put the bowl in the dishwasher then I went into the livingroom to watch some more cartoons until it turned 9:00p.m. I turned off the tv and walked to my fireplace. I kissed Jaz'Marie and Jaz'Maria's rosary beads. Then I went upstairs to my bedroom.

       I grabbed my mini bookbag off my bedroom couch and took out my journal. I just needed to write cause I have a lot on my mind. I digged in my night stand for a pen. Once I found the pen I opened my journal to a blank page and began to write.

Dear Sylvia,

      Today has been a interesting day for me. For one my crush told me I looked beautiful today! It made me feel special inside to hear those words come off of those luscious lips of his. He even gave me a smile when he said it. For the first time in 3 years I have had a genuine smile on my face.

    Only if he understood what he was doing to me. But the downside to today is that I saw him crying. It completely broke my heart to see him crying. It gets weirder, when I tapped him and he shot up he started to just stare at me. But not a regular stare but as if he were trying to find something stare. He asked me a question afterwards.  When I answered he began to stare at me again and I stared back. But this time it was like he was looking into my soul. He was so deep into my eyes my legs grew weak and my vision grew blurry. I've never had such a feeling come over me. But I feel that there is more to his staring. I think he is attracted to me the way I am him. And the way he starred deep into my eyes must mean that i'm right, right?

     But the real downside is that I don't know why he was crying. It wasn't a man tearing up, it was a full on river of tears. I don't know what was that bad cause I've never seen a man cry that hard in my life. I'm going to make it my mission to find out though. I just have to. Well that's it for today.

                            Yours Truly,

                               Sylvia

       I closed my journal up. I felt a little better to get that off my chest. I put my journal ontop of my nightstand. I out of my bed and said my prayers. I hopped under the sheets and cut out the light.

       I just layed there wondering about why Rayon was crying. I also couldn't keep replaying me and him staring into each other's eyes.

       I layed there wondering for about 2 hours. It ended up being about 11:50 when I went to sleep.