PROGRESS

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  I got up out of my bed at the sound of my alarm waking me at 5:00 in the morning. I stretched and yawn getting ready for another day at work. I went into the bathroom and took me a long hot shower. I only woke that early so I would be able to take such showers.

        I got out and checked the time. It was 5:58 a.m. now. I walked into my room and and dried myself and my hair off. I lotioned up and put on my undergarments. I went into my closet and got out army MC Hammer pants, a black half cut spaghetti strap shirt, and my army zip up hoodie. I let my wet curls stay the way they were because I was feeling lazy and didn't feel like fixing  .  it into a bun.

             I put on my all black sneaker wedges and added a little mascara, black lipstick, black watch, and my army studs. I grabbed my mini bookbag and packed all the things I needed for the day. I sometimes forget so I write a check list.

CHECK LIST

□ Designer Box

□ Sketch Book

□ Color Pencils

□ Journal

□ Phone

□ Wallet

   After checking everything on my list and making sure I had everything I grabbed my bag and headed down stairs.

When I reached the bottom of the staircase I checked my watch. It was now 6:10. Perfect timing for me. I walked into the livingroom and went over to the fireplace. I kissed both Jaz'Marie and Jaz'Maria's rosary. Those would have been my twin daughters names. I got the rosary made so it felt as if I still had a part of them with me.

       I grabbed my car keys put my bookbag on my back, and locked my house door. After I got into my black Dodge Charger I put my bookbag on my passenger seat and started on my way to Starbucks.

     Im pretty lucky. There is a Starbucks a block away from the building I work at. I usually park infront of the cafe and get a caramel robin crunch, and that's exactly what I'm doing.

    I cut the engine and grabbed my mini bookbag and preceded into the cafe. I ordered my usual and sat at usual seat. I sit here every time I come in. Ive been doing did so long that they reserve it for me just in case someone tries to sit there.

     I got out my journal and thought about what I needed to let out. My doctor says that this journal is actually helping my health. It lessens my depression. I thought of something to write then started to write.

Dear Sylvia,

New feelings erupting

They burn but it feels good

New feelings tingling

They kinda put me in a better mood

Don't know why there here

But I don't want them to leave

There sweet and infectious

Make it a little hard to breathe

I don't want to admit

But I think I have a crush

He is all types of handsome

His charm gives me a rush

Don't want to get my hopes up

Cause 9.99 out of 10 he doesn't feel the same

But he stays on my mind alot now

I think this is round 1 of some love game

                             By: Me

   That's all I've had on my mind for a month now. He works where I work, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't even notice me. I actually got dressed a little more cute for him to notice.  I feel like a damn high school girl all over again. But I haven't felt this glimpse of happiness since Jacob left.      I put my journal back inside my mini bookbag and finish my caramel robin crunch. I walk out of Starbucks and walk to my jobs building. I get the usual head turns from my male coworkers. They constantly try to ask me out but I put them down every time. After a month when my crush developed I've been dressing prettier, and within that month almost every male coworker has been trying to get with me.

     I just ignore them because I know why there really interested. I walk up to the front desk to Kelly. She's the front desk lady.

    "Is that Ms.Sylvia I see there looking all types of delicious?"I blushed. She was the only female coworker I really talk to. She has a upbeat attitude almost all the time. When I started working here she was the one that really made me feel welcomed. She saw that I was very depressed so she keeps her upbeat to cheer me up in the hopes it'll rub off on me one day. She was also the only one I told about my whole 3 year hell.

        She's a really good friend. "So is this all for that crush ive been hearing about?" She whispered. I nodded my head instead of denying it. Her whole face lit up with glee. "So when are you gonna tell your home girl who this man is? You leaving me hanging here." She said. I sighed. I didn't want to tell her because I think she might think im crazy for liking him. But I can't help it though. By her facial expression I knew she knew I wasn't gonna tell her.

      " You'll have to tell me soon or later chia." Her heavy Spanish accent comes out when she's frustrated or angry. And right now I think she's a mixture of both. "Maybe soon. I just might get over it. You never know.  Im not completely sure of my feelings yet." I said. She just flips her long Puerto Rican hair to her right shoulder and playfully rolled her eyes. " Ok mami, but imma figure out this lil mystery man of yours sooner or later."She gave me my work laptop, my keycard, and the the things that were sent to my boss Mr. Lopez. I thanked her and wiped my keycard to get on the elevator. I pressed the 21st floor.

      The whole building has 34 floors. I pray to God everyday that the elevators work because it would horrible for me to have to walk up 21 flights of stairs. When I reached the floor I checked my watch for the time. It was 7:30. I was early by 30 minutes. This gave me the time to set up before Mr.Lopez gets in.

     I wipe my card to get inside of Mr.Lopez's office. I walked into an empty office. I placed his packages on his desk. I walked into the other room which was my office. I sat down in my chair and set up my laptop. I placed my bag next to my desk. I signed into my work account and pulled up me and Mr.Lopez's schedule for the day. After that I went over to my window and plugged my phone into the speaker. It started to play "Big Sean- Marvin Gaye and Chardonnay". I dont know why but love that song for some reason. I went back to my desk and got out my sketch book and color pencils out my bookbag. The sketch book I had was already full of designs. I just never got around coloring them. So I put arrows for what color was suppose to be for what. I do it on my free time while I listen to music.

     I did go to a fashion high school and I majored in fashion. But something made me not want to do it anymore. I always wanted to start my own fashion line. I would name it Finest Beauty.  That's the name I put on all of my sketch books. I don't know how to even start my own line. I just do sketches to keep that dream alive. I colored like a 5 year old for 15 minutes. I put my sketch book back inside of my mini bookbag. I went over to my speaker and took my phone off. I checked the time to  see it was 7:47. I was planning to play on my phone for the remainder of the time but was caught off guard when I heard movement in Mr. Lopez's office.

     I was scared because he never comes this early to work. I quietly went to my office door to see Mr.Lopez standing in the middle of the office door deep in thought.  I decided against interrupting him. So I quietly walked back inside of my office without making a sound. I sat down in my chair and played on my phone until I was interrupted again by noises. But this time it sounded like crying. I went to my door to see my boss crying with his head in his arms.

     It broke my heart to see a man cry. I decided to walk to him.

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