Fear of a Name

Chapter Fifty-One: Questions

The thoughts and questions that were flying around my head confused me. I groaned in frustration.
"Is mistress Ivory alright?" Lulu asked.
I nodded.
"Yeah, just trying to work something out and getting confused by all my thoughts," I muttered, rubbing my head. I could feel a headache coming on already.
"Has mistress Ivory tried writing the thoughts down?"
"No, I haven't," I said, a smile forming on my lips. "That's a great idea! Thanks, Lulu."
"Mistress Ivory is very welcome," Lulu said, before going back to whatever it was she'd been doing before I came.

I quickly took my ink and quill out of my pocket, followed by my Transfiguration essay. It was pretty short, and I was sure most of it was nonsense anyway, so I used my wand to clear all the writing off it. I dipped the quill in the ink, then wrote down all the questions I had:

1. Why are the nightmares all just the same girl being tortured?
2. Why did talking about the Death Eater who tried to help me trigger the nightmares?
3. Why do I feel like the nightmares have all happened before?
4. Why does my necklace go cold every time I have a nightmare?

It was the fourth question that was worrying me the most. What if the necklace was making me have the nightmares? What if it was altering my memory to make me think I'd had the nightmares before; or worse, to make me think they'd actually happened?! Slightly agitated now, I quickly scribbled down a fifth question:

5. Can I trust the necklace?

I frowned. Sirius had given me that necklace for Christmas, and I was sure he wouldn't try to hurt me or anything... but all the same, he did say he'd stolen it from his mother, and Merlin knows what curses she could've put on it if she'd thought someone might take it. But surely she would've put something a bit more harmful on it rather than a spell to give false memories...

I took a sip of my Butterbeer and read through the questions again. Getting the answer to just one of them seemed completely impossible right now, and answering all of them was going to take a small miracle. I had no idea where to start trying to find anything out.
"Maybe I should check the library," I muttered to myself. "Not my library, Ron'll probably be using that... I'll go to the school library."
I quickly drank the rest of my Butterbeer, put the list of questions into my pocket, then left the kitchens and walked up to the library.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ivory!"
I glanced up from the book I was looking through.
"Hey, Harry; hey, Ron," I said, then carried on reading.
"We've been looking for you for ages. What're you doing?" Ron said, looking at the large pile of books next to me.
"Research," I said simply.
"Research about what?" Harry said, looking at the page I was reading.
"Stuff."

"False memories?" he read. "What're you researching false memories for?"
"Nothing important. Why did you want to find me?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Well you've been up here for hours; you missed lunch, and you're going to miss dinner too if you don't hurry," Ron said.
"Ok." I started to gather the books that were surrounding me into a slightly neater pile. "You guys go down, I'll meet you down there in a few minutes. I just need to sort out these books."

"Want us to help?" Harry asked.
"No thanks," I muttered, barely managing to stop myself rolling my eyes at his obliviousness.
Isn't it obvious that I just want to be left alone to think right now?
"Ok... we'll see you down there, I guess..." Harry said, looking confusedly at Ron, who just shrugged his shoulders.
"Bye guys," I said pointedly.
They shared another look, then turned and left.

"Thank Merlin," I muttered to myself as I started to gather up all the books. So far, I hadn't found anything that could tell me why I was suddenly getting these nightmares, but I was sure I'd find something if I just kept looking.

I quickly finished gathering the books into three piles: ones I'd read, ones I hadn't read that I had in the library in my purse, and ones I hadn't read that I didn't have in the library in my purse. The first two piles — which were by far the biggest — I made a note of all the names, then put them all back where I'd got them from. The third pile, I took to Madam Pince, the librarian.

Once she'd checked them all out (and told me about a hundred times to take care of them), I thanked her, and took them to my dormitory.
Now, where can I hide these...?
I knew I needed to hide them, because I didn't want anyone knowing the full extent of what I was researching. Sure, Ron and Harry had seen that I'd been looking at false memories, but that wasn't all the books were about. I'd also decided to find out as much as I could about restoring memories (just in case these were real memories I'd been seeing), as well as magic-induced nightmares, enchanted jewellery, and hallucinogenic spells.

I looked around for a few minutes, before just pushing the books under my bed and covering them with some jumpers. I knew I'd have to find somewhere better to put them eventually, but it'd do for now.
"Maybe I'll just make a hidden room in my purse," I muttered to myself as I walked down to the great hall for dinner. "That's the only place I can think of where nobody'll find any of the books I'm researching from..."

I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't even notice Malfoy until I'd walked into him.
"Watch where you're going, Riddle," he spat.
"Nice to see you too. How's your face?" I said nonchalantly.
He gave me a confused look, and I was barely able to suppress a grin.
"Well, I don't think it's ever going to be the same after Hermione punched you," I said.
In less than a second, he had his wand to my throat.
"Don't you dare—"

"You know, I could so easily just curse you off me," I interrupted him quietly, though I still wasn't daring to move.
"But you won't, will you?" he said, his eyes glinting maliciously. "You're too scared of what Aunt Bella would do to you, aren't you Riddle."
I said nothing; we both knew this was true, there was no point in either confirming or denying it.

"Listen here, Riddle," he hissed. "If you ever breathe another word about that filthy Mudblood punching me, I'm going to be telling Aunt Bella some things which will land you in a whole world of trouble."
"Ok, ok," I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes at him. "I won't say anything again. Now let me go, before I scream the place down and get all the professors out here."
He reluctantly lowered his wand and stepped away from me, and I walked into the great hall.
Well that was interesting.

________________________
A/n: aaand I've finally updated! Sorry for the wait, I had writer's block.

Here's a question: what do you think's going on with Ivory's nightmares? I'd love to hear your theories!

Also, we're so close to 8k reads! I honestly can't thank you all enough! 🖤

Anyways, that's all from me now!
~Charlie