The Life Of Jayden. (COMPLETED)

I can't take it

I took a few breaths and got myself together , I was still very upset and hurt but I cant cry infront of lil Jay , He will think something terrible , well it is terrible but I don't want him to know hes to young .        I turn my radio up trying to focus on that than my mom dying , but it was so difficult . I ended up screaming and crying . I don't understand why all of everything is going bad for me . 

As soon as I pull in my driveway , I grab a wipe from Lil Jay's diaper bag and wipe my face . Than I grabbed Juliana's eye drops and put some in my eyes to clear the redness , Grabbed a hair tie out of the cup holder and put my dreads into a bun . I get out the car and walk inside . Everyone is asleep taking a nap in the living room . I turn the tv off that is playing monster inc.  I pick up the cups and dishes that are on the glass coffee table and put them in the sink . " We really need a dog , What if  I was a burgler" I said to myself outloud .  Just as I said that Juliana grabbed me from behind " Hi" I said , My voice was dry and cracked from crying .  she looked at me and frowned " Whats wrong Jay" She says  She rubs her hand across my cheek and looks up at me again " Talk to me , Whats bothering you " She asks , Looking up at me with such concern . I instantly break down and start to cry , I cover my face and walk into my once ours bedroom . I punched the wall on the way in , My knuckles Instantly bruised , There was a big ass hole in the wall , I punched right through that shit and felt the pain after a while . Nothing hurt more than my mother dying . " Babe your phone , Its Vin... " Before she could get the rest out I run so fast and grab the phone "Whats wrong what happen" I say so fast into the phone ' Mama , Shes in the hospital , She started coughing really bad and I called the ambulance , I'm with her now , They put her out but I think you need to get here with Lil Jay " I can tell Vincent is crying and I start to cry again , I screamed noooo I said I will get there as fast as I can , Than I hung up , The kids woke up and stared at me , "I'm sorry , I didn't mean to wake yall up , " I gave them a kiss , and picked Lil Jay up . ' Babe whats goin on " Juliana grabbed my wrist " I have to go ok , Ill be back soon, Better yet get dressed and come with me , I'm not ok and I need you for back up " I said while crying    I went into Lil Jay's room and put his Spider-Man hoodie on with the Spider-Man navy sweat pants . I than put his Red and black with Navy lace champion shoes on . 

We all got into the car and took off.....