kookie's diary || vkook ✔️

22.

jungkook stared at the paper, surprised at the sight of a lengthy entry. he knew that handwriting; he can't be mistaken. with those kind of strokes and lines, he really can't be wrong about this.

it was kim taehyung's handwriting.

curious and puzzled, he took the blue diary in his hands as his eyes started reading everything written in there.

03-27-14 (special entry)

hey jungkook's diary,
my name is kim taehyung, i'm 18, and i love playing video games, same as kook. so you see, i'm the one who stole you away from him, and that's because i really wanted to know him more, though i know this was really such a selfish thing to do.

it really was.

i've been liking him ever since we met, i guess. he was an adorable kid, and i just had this soft spot for him inside my heart. but i wasn't really sure if he liked me back, even if it seemed so, especially now that he's been avoiding me for some reasons that i don't know and i couldn't understand. after stealing you away from him, i learned that he felt the same way as me, too. i was happy about that, but that didn't last long, as i started to doubt if i could ever make him feel happy.

hey, thanks for being with him during the times he was in so much pain because of me. i hate this feeling so much. i hate seeing him in pain because of the things i'm doing. no matter how much i try to do things to make him happy, it just results to the opposite. i just hurt him more, and that's the last thing i ever wanted to do to him. and it sucks.

hey kook. if you ever read this when i return this to you, i want you to know that i really regret everything i've done. i'm sorry because i always seem to hurt you. sorry for stealing this thing away from you and making things harder for you. forgive me for everything, for making it seem that i was just playing with your feelings and that i was never serious about you. forgive me if i made you feel like you were just my playtoy, a mere past time for me. jeon jungkook, i wanted you to know that i like you so much, i really like you so much that i think i'm already in love with you, even if i don't deserve to have someone as great as you.

take care of yourself.

-kth

a drop.

his tears continuously streamed down on his cheeks as he fell down on his knees, cursing himself and the world. he felt his heart crushing into pieces as he read the letter, the entry taehyung wrote in his diary. guilt instantly crept to him as his eyes didn't stop pouring out salty tears. why does life have to be this way? he's not the one at fault, but he still regrets everything he did, he does. no, that's wrong. he's blameworthy for everything. maybe he didn't try hearing out the brown-haired male's side. or rather, he didn't give taehyung a chance to explain his side. he closed his ears, believing that what will just come out from his mouth were just lies. the older wasn't the one who's self-centered; jungkook was. taehyung wasn't the one to apologize, he was.

his back leaned across the bed's frame as he sat on the floor, one leg propped up. he stared at the window across the other side of the room, the sunlight penetrating the translucent curtains of his room, softly touching jungkook's skin. his mind was spacing out, thoughts all scattered, and his dark irises gave off a blank stare. right now, he badly wanted to apologize to the older, but he doesn't know how. he doesn't have any idea why he should, but it sounded like taehyung was in pain, too, because of the situation they both dealing with right now. he was selfish to think that he doesn't hurt the boy whenever he would give him a cold shoulder. he was selfish to think that he's the only one in pain here, that he's the only one who faces these big problems. taehyung was a human, too. he has problems to confront. and as his words repeated themselves in jungkook's mind, it looked like he only severed his hyung's situation.