Professor

Ch. 20 - Alice's mother

That night, Alice awoke in a cold sweat. She was glad Loki barely moved next to her. He didn't notice the tears streaking down her face when the young girl pressed her lips lightly against his temple and left their bedroom.

In the break of dawn, Alice walked through town until she reached a gloomy neighborhood. The house of her childhood was still standing there, in the bottled darkness of the street. Her guts twisted, the familiar feeling slowly rooting her feet to the ground.

Heart pounding in her chest, she managed to take a step ahead. She remembered everything. The smell, the dusty windows and the ratty yard. The needles, the crises.

Alice's mother was just irresponsible. She'd always been. You might think that a drug addict can become violent, but she wasn't. Instead, Mrs. Parker used to live in a bubble in which her daughter wasn't included. Alice had no existence in her mind. She could forget her for days, leaving the little girl helpless and without care.

Splaying a hand on her stomach, Alice moved back.

It seemed obvious to her that she wouldn't make the same mistakes as her mother. However, fear was growing in her chest, uncontrollable and overwhelming the joy she should have been feeling about this child.

Being young was one thing she wasn't afraid of, but being Mrs. Parker's daughter was something else. It meant family would never be about grandparents. All these moments she would have loved to share with her own mother and her baby, they would never exist.

When Alice came back home, she hadn't noticed she was freezing. She kept looking blankly in front of her as she sat in the living room. It only took Loki a few minutes to come down and drink his coffee.

The young girl felt him pressing a kiss against her forehead and she smiled as his lips came brushing against hers. Alice saw him frowning,

"Where were you ?" he whispered, his fingers wandering against her still cold skin.

Alice shrugged and her smile died faster than a candles flame,

"I couldn't sleep."

For a moment, she saw his green gaze observing her, as if he could read her face. Shivering at the thought, Alice quickly stood up,

"I'm going to be late." she said, almost running to the bathroom.

Alice wasn't there to see Loki's surprise as he stared at the spot where she'd been sitting.

At the end of the day, she took the same path as this cold morning and sat on the bench on the opposite side of the street, contemplating knocking at the door. It took her hours to decide she wouldn't and Alice finally headed back home.

When she opened the door, Loki bombarded her with questions to which she couldn't answer.

"I just got lost..."

"In your own town ?"

Alice let out a sigh of exasperation,

"I just need some time alone. Is it too much to ask ?"

She saw his eyes, green with a hint of blue, stained with haunting fear. Of course, he knew something was wrong, he could feel it. Her heart clenched as he slightly nodded, taking a step back,

"Fine."

And it lasted for a week more, until Alice finally knocked at this damn door.

Mrs. Parker hadn't changed. Except for her ravaged skin and greasy hair, she still wore the same innocence as she used to.

"Alice..." she sighed weakly, her voice barely coming out of her mouth.

The house was still a constant mess.