Professor

A/N

Hey guys. I'm so sorry I haven't updated yet. 

I'm going through a break up, the worst in my whole life actually. You can skip the next paragraphs, but I needed to write them, here.

I was living with my boyfriend, the love of my life, the man who was my best friend for a year before we started dating. He was also my partner, my coworker, the man I shared my passion with. And one day, just like that, after three intense years, he told me he didn't love me anymore. He didn't feel the little sensation you got when you fall in love for the first time. I told him it was normal, that true love was about finding the other interesting, beautiful and to feel good when you were with them. He told me that I was certainly right, and he was probably going to regret it, but he needed to be single. Not for sex or other women, which would have hurt but I could have understood. No, he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. After spending every summer together on the beach. After directing movies together. After creating so many beautiful things together. He wants to stop.

Maybe you can imagine how I feel, maybe you can't. I've come to the point I can't feel my heart anymore. When I close my eyes, it's like movie flashbacks. Images hit my brain like thunder lightning and I can't move. I see him, I see us, being happy. I can even feel his body against mine and I crave him. I crave our endless discussions and the way we were so passionate about our jobs, the connexion we had. I wake up covered in sweat every night after dreaming about him. I dream about him regretting, coming back. I don't even understand why he left, why he didn't tell me something was wrong so we could work on it together. Because I would have done anything to make him feel better. Anything.

He used to read this story and just loved it. He was my first reader, my first fan. So I have a hard time updating without him by my side, because it reminds me of him and everything we went through. The way we lived together. How home never meant a country or a place, but it meant him, it meant us. My character in Professor is a bit of him, the relationship between Alice and this man  is a bit of us as well for our life inspired me so much.

I'm not giving up on this story, but I wanted to tell you it's going to take me some time to recover.

However, I will never give up on this story. 

I love you all. Thank you for reading and supporting all this. You are the best. 

S.