Curved Line

Chapter 32 - Bad dreams

                          Trevis

'' Your momma ain't shit and you'll never be shit. You think you have a chance at being something in life? you can forget about that shit , your from the projects and people from the projects don't ever make it out. We all poor out here so what makes you think that you'll be any different? you were raised as a hoodrat in the dumps and you'll never be good you little bitch. I swear I told your dumb ass of a mother to abort you when she even got pregnant with your ass but she didn't want to listen. I don't like your ass , you ruined my fucking life. I could've been a proffesional football player but when you came you ruined my chances.'' He yelled at me for the upteenth time , I'm tired of him and his worn out words.

''I don't care what you or anybody else say's. I'm going to be somebody , I'm going to make it out of the projects. I don't need you or anybody else trying to predict my future and what's to come , whether I make money hustling , or I make money with a job regardless of the fact I'm going to be big , I won't have to stretch money to pay the bills and buy food. I'm going to grow up get sucessful , make a family and be happy. My kids won't have to grow up wondering is daddy going to be home , if daddy is going to show up on their birthday , if daddy is going to be here for the holidays , is daddy going to be there period. They won't have to be worried if the companies is going to shut the water off or turn off the gas off in the house. That won't be me and I refuse that too be me. So fuck what you talking about DAD.'' I yelled back at him , putting more emphasis on the words that needed to be heard , I swear I don't need this or him ... My mom and I got this.

''Don't come back to Daddy when shit gets to hard for you because all I'm going to say is '' I told you so.'' Fuck your dreams cause that shit ain't coming true , you dumb ass motherfucker.'' He spat as he sipped on his fourth bottle of hennesy today. 

'' You sorry ass excuse of a father , I don't know what mom saw in you. I guess she knows now you weren't worth it in the long run. Oh , and dumb isn't me ... bitch how about you spell Illiterate , failure or how about my name ? you can't even do that can you ? fuck you , I don't need you and I'll never need you. I'm my own father , I taught myself how to walk , talk , read , ride a bike and piss bitch you ain't teach me how to do shit except how to hate. '' I finished off and tried to walk off but all I heard was him saying '' How dare you disrespect your father!'' and I felt the bottle he was drinking go against my head and I was out like a light.

Then I woke up out of my sleep , I've been having these dreams of things that has happened to me in the past with my dad and Its getting to me. Its fucking with the way I think and the way I've been acting and I don't know what to do about it. I looked at the clock on my nightstand and it read four O'clock , I laid back down and my phone started playing ' More ' by silk ... some shit Ziare put as her ringtone when she calls me, I just never changed it.

''Yeah baby?'' I answered. ''You having bad dreams again?'' She asked with concern in her voice , I swear she knows when something is wrong with me whether I'm far or near . '' Yeah , but it's fine I'm all good .. you know how I am , that's why you called me?'' I asked trying to put the dream I had to the side right now , but talking to Ziare that's not happening. '' Your not good , I know this is getting to you and you can stop trying to put this conversation to the side because it's not happening. Maybe you should go see a counselor and see why It's really been happening , you like to build alot of things inside and it's not good at all .. and of course that's why I called I had a feeling something was wrong with you.'' She said , trying to be captain save a '' boyfriend' again. '' Baby I don't know how many times I have to tell you I don't need a counselor to help me solve my problems all they want to do is know my fucking buisness and I don't need it , my past is in the past for a reason lets keep it back there and focus on the future. Thank you for checking up on me but I don't need you to tell me what I have to do , let me handle it on my own. The way you handle your problems is different from the way I solve mines.'' I said back to her , I was starting to get irritated with the conversation and I wanted to end it so I can go back to sleep.

'' Trevis don't start catching a fucking attitude with me okay? I'm trying to help your ass but you always trying to do some shit on your own and sometimes it doesn't always work let me help you sometimes. Get the fuck out your feelings and man the fuck up. You can't hide from your past it's always going to catch up to you unless you make amends. Put your dignity  too the side and help yourself. '' She raised her voice at me , In all honesty I get what she saying but I don't have time for this right now , I just need to go back to sleep and relax for a minute ... I have too much stuff on my mind for this bickering shit. 

'' Right , I'm about to hang up and go back too sleep .'' I said seriously. '' Your kidding me right now?'' She asked. '' So serious , I'll talk to you whenever I love you.'' I said waiting for her response. '' Man fuck you bruh.'' She hung up. 

I'm all messed up man

* A/N* A little insight on Trevis a bit more .

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but I have a question for y'all 

- Do you guys want more insight on what's really going on In Trevis life or NAH ?