𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 || 𝐌𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢-𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

John Murphy x reader [Pt. 1]

It's like I could still feel him - warm breath on the back of my neck, skin on mine, his strong arms wrapped around me... And no matter what, I could still remember every single feature on that face... Hot tears filled my dark brown eyes as I glanced down at the pocket knife in my hand, fingertips digging into the crevices of the initials that had been carved into the side: J. M. He'd given it to me to protect myself. After all, he had no more use for it any longer - having long since become a different man than he used to be. He still worried for my safety, though - especially with the grounders around.

He always wanted to be right by my side whenever we had any talks with them, his hand finding mine, fingers intertwining... I'd always remember that about him in these coming years... A single tear cascaded down my cheek then as the memories washed over me and suddenly, it was like a dam broke. The tears came out in buckets, streaming down my face as my chest heaved. I clutched the knife so hard my knuckles turned white, the coolness of it against my palm giving me only a fraction of peace. Murphy was gone.

My love, my life, my John was gone. And this time...he wasn't coming back. Not for a long time... I'd have to spend the next six years of my life without him here... It was going to be an eternity. Another sob bubbled up from my throat as I threw myself onto the bed in my newly designated room here in the Bunker.

We didn't even get a last goodbye. Bellamy was the last one to be heard from before they went up in space...before the connection was lost. I felt disoriented...inconsolable. My chest heaved with fresh tears as I flipped over onto my back, staring up at the ceiling of this tiny little room that would be my prison for the next few years, John's face swimming in my mind. Yet there was something I had needed to say...just once. Ever so slowly, I moved my hand up to rest on my flat stomach, not being able to feel the baby growing in there quite yet.

And I never got the chance.

~ Six Years Later ~

The familiar pocket knife brushed against my leg in my jeans pocket as I ran down the hallway, chasing after the shrieking little girl ahead. I received a few glares and pointed looks from Arkadians and Grounders alike before finally, I caught up to her. Sweeping up the small child into my arms, she giggled as if her disobedience was the funniest thing. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and frustration as I glanced down at her. But as per usual, my anger melted when I caught a glimpse of my six-year-old daughter. Strands of short dark brown hair framed her oval-shaped face, her eyes a cornflower blue identical to her father's.

"Sorry, mommy," she said cheekily and I couldn't help but smile, shaking my head.

"Just don't do it again, Rayanne, understand? It's not funny - you could get hurt, sweetie," I reprimanded her, a soft but stern tone to my voice.

She nodded meekly and I smiled again, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before setting her back down. Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me and turned to find Octavia staring back at me as Rayanne disappeared down the corridor. Her eyes were wide with disbelief and I tilted my head in confusion, placing a hand on her shoulder to shake her from her stupor.

"What? O, what is it?" I asked softly and finally, her eyes connected to mine.

She swallowed hard, still a bit disoriented before she spoke. And the words that left her mouth shocked me to my very core.

"The others...they're back."