If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you. If I hadn't liked you, I wouldn't love you. If I wouldn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do and I will.
I can't talk to you anymore, it's not that I am mad at you, it's just that when I talk to
you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can't have you and that makes me love you even more. Would you just listen and please don't say a word, just yet, I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met, How you felt around me? The memories we shared, And just remember that once upon a time, you really cared. Now think about how we parted, and how much I cried, But please don't speak, remember that I never ever lied, That I told you the honest truth about why we were to split, But now I'd like you to know that my heart broke bit by bit. The pain was deep, unbearable and painful, for so many years, I'll never forget all the sadness, all the uncontrollable tears, Slowly I am rebuilding my life, I am content with what I've got, And although it is hard I am beginning to forget what I have not. You were a special part of my life that I will never forget,
A part of my life that broke my heart, but that I don't regret, You gave me some happy memories that I'll keep in my heart, Although sometimes I wish that you and I didn't have to part. You were my first love and my true love, that will always be so,
After all of the heartache, sadness and never ending pain, I know,
You and I had something special and that will never change,
Because I love you and loving someone else will always seem strange.
Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,
That I had hopes and dreams, that I was the one who threw them away,
And this is something I will always regret until my dying day.
I cryed as I read though the letter I was planning on sending to kingsley that day at the hospital made me realise me and kingsley were done we both needed to move on properly for good this time this also meaning me ending it with romaine I couldn't be here any more my life is sad I've spent way too much of my life being scared and in love I don't wont to be like this any more so im packing my bags and im gone my Nan says I can come live with her in Jamaica for a while that's were im going me the twins jovan and Reece. Reece has made it pretty clear he wonts nothing to do with kingsley so cool I don't blame him really. I took a deep breath and posted the letter wiping the last of my tears I smiled up at the sun that shone down on me its over for good and there isn't no turning back!.....
Five years later
I smiled as we stepped off the plane the cold air hit my face I sniffed in yup the same old English air I laughed to my self as I watched my aunty and uncle jump up and down in excite ment jovan ran over and hugged them both while Reece just tutted and walked over to them bobbing to his songs kmt fool lol I held the twins ands and walked over laughing at my ant pulling Reece's cheeks and kissing him all over his face. We had come back to England for the Christmas holiday because my ant and uncle had invited us and the kids wonted to see snow yeah funny right but it don't snow in jamrock so yeah know I looked down at kade and he was crying and complaining about the cold weather shay just stood shivering keeping quiet she wasn't one for talking but kade he never shut up I look over at Reece and his manly figure even though there was only two years between us he was more like a sun to me I loved him so much more then a brother I almost felt motherly towards him and he new it too even though we act like brother and sister I picked up kade and hugged him tight rubbing him till he got warm I know its mean to pick one up one and not the other but I wonted shayella to ask me she doesn't speak at all she knows how to but she choose not to use words it gets irritating some times but you learn to live with it I kissed kade.
Ant Yolanda: come give yeah ant a squeeze Nicky I've missed you walked over to her smiling and hugged her then ma uncle I really loved them both there just so lovely.
We got into the car and I strapped the twins in and jovan then my self. Uncle Lester turned around to talk to me as aunty drove to there house.
Uncle: so how old is every one now huh
Me: im 22 Reece just turned 20 jovan is 7 and the twins are 5 I smiled
Uncle: gosh your all so big now he smiled at all of us then turned around....
Aunty: WERE HOME
I looked around at all my cousins Nan and granddad, and other aunties and uncles I greeted every one and was shocked when I walked in the front room to find a light skin girl with her back to me her hair was jet black and long down in her back like mine aunty walked in and the girl turned around I gasped and dropped my glass of coke.she stood up and let the tears run down her face
Her: oh Nicole she stepped closer to me but I moved back
Me: lacy...was all that left my lips
