The Adventures of Bob

Bob 6

They say happy families smile a lot and laugh together.

I agree with that but remember, I can't feel that shit.

My emotions fuck me up staying from inside me. Maybe that's why I'm 2-D. My emotions at away my 3-Dimentionalness.

Bro, mind blown.

In the last chapter, Bob finally got to go home after the experiments and the..... Results...... As you would call it.

He's living a sad life *single tear falls*

We're going to jump through time a little bit to get this story going somewhere.

- Five Months later-

"Phil, he's taking his first steps!" my mom yelled as she forced me to stand against a chair again. She's lucky I could'nt talk yet. I hated her teaching me how to walk. She always ends up treating me like dog like, 'here boy', 'good booooy~' and the worst is when she pets me and shakes my head around.

"Seriously?? That's great!" my dad yelled back. He ran over and sat down next to my mom.

Fuck.

Now I have to get this right otherwise dad will get mad again. This is the 48th time my mom said it was my first steps and my dad got excited every time. I don't know how, I think it's a skill. A talent even. Like, how can you get excited for 48 false alarms?? He's insane.

My mom made sure I was stable next to the chair and then grabbed my arms. She turned me so that I was facing her and then she told me to walk.

And guess what?

This bitch let go of my arms and I fell on my face.

It didn't hurt though. I didn't cry either and I think my mom was glad of that because she sighed really loudly. My dad put his hands on his face and silently wept on the floor. For all you people who don't know what wept means, it means he cried like a little bitch.

I mean, Jesus Christ, it took him 48 tries and he finally broke. Maybe my mom just wanted to see how long it took him to give up.

If that's what she was trying to do, she's a goddamn genius. But if that wasn't what she was trying to do and she actually wanted me to walk, she's actually the dumbest person on the planet. Or the whole Galaxy at that.

Isn't family great?

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Yaaaay!!!! Another bus chapter.

Just so you know, all of this is comedy and this just my fucked up sense of humor. For anyone reading this that doesn't know me personally (which is little to zero lol) my jokes can go way too far. I have nothing against parents or trying to teach a baby to walk. It's just how my mind thinks of things.

Jesus Christ, I put too many words in these things.

Anyways, look forward to Bob's next Adventure!