drama club {boyxboy} {willxnico}

don't question it.

so like. ik it's taking me lots to update but the thing is that all of these chapters are pre-written from awhile ago and im just hitting publish now. which, should make things a lot more faster, right?? i'm actually just stalling until i write something new. and i never do cause i lost inspiration for this story, mainly because of how poor my writing was during these. over-dramatic sequences, not enough build-up, there's just a whole mess here. which, no, i'm not gonna rewrite or edit. so well um we'll just see what happens and i hope i'll still be able to write some chapters to close up the story. <3 love y'all

-Nico, minutes later-

i don't why i had said what i said. it was like years of silence and anger erupted for her. maybe it wasn't fair. maybe it was spoiled. the worst part, i thought, was that i did it in front of Will. Will, without his own mother.

i heard footsteps behind me and snapped my head to see a figure. i knew it was my mom, because she was the only one who knew where i could have run off to. i was the bench right behind the giant green christmas tree, invisible to people walking on the path. mom and i would sit there and talk about the tree each year, making fun of the families who took pictures in front of it.

   she sat by me and i sighed. "i'm sorry."

   "no," she shook her head and placed her hand on mine. "don't ever apologize for saying what you think. i'm the one who should be sorry." i let my hair fall in front of my face so she wouldn't see the tears farting down my face.

   "why?" i wiped off the tears and stayed looking at my shoes, that were highlighted with green from the beaming tree. "you haven't done anything wrong."

   "i've done everything wrong," she said, chuckling sadly. "i was never a good mother, nico. i was never a good wife. i don't say this for someone to take pity, i say this because you deserve to know that marie...she is what a mother should be. i'm sorry that i couldn't be there for you, and i'm sorry for not thinking about how you felt."

"it's too late to be sorry," i said. "the damage has been done, no point in reflecting."

   "you're right, i know you're right," she took a deep breath. "you're going to be 18 in 2 years."

   "yeah, i am," i nodded.

   she wiped the tears off her cheeks. "would you still come see me? no bullshit."

   i inhaled sharply and wrapped my hand in hers. "i don't know...i don't know."

   she nodded and let go of my hand, burying her face in her hands, her back shaking as she sobbed. i felt my heart break in half.

   "i'm sorry-"

   "it's too late to be sorry," she repeated and sat back up. "i did this to myself. you shouldn't be sorry."

   "i just-" i cleared my throat. "i don't want to be judged for what i did in the past and..."

   "don't make excuses for me," she said, tears falling. "you deserve to be happy. you don't have to talk to me, or seem, i just want you to be happy. as long as i know that...i will be just fine."

   "mom," i cried out. "you're still my mother. you're still apart of me."

   "yes, yes i know."

   i chewed on my lip and looked at her closely. she was half of me, and i was half of her. maybe i should be looking out for myself some time, and i will. sometimes, you have to sacrifice a small bit of your happiness for another person's happiness. so, it was decided.

   "i'll visit you, mom," i nodded. "i promise."

   "you shouldn't do that to yourself."

   "it's not your job to tell me what i should or shouldn't do anymore, besides, some people don't even have a mother, or a mother like you. i don't forgive you, but...i love you."

i cupped her face in my hands and wiped the tear falling down her cheek with my thumb, then i kissed her on the forehead. "i love you, too, my boy."

   it was in that moment when i felt totally happy. oklahoma didn't seem as bad as it once was. a weight that came with the state floated off my shoulders and i hugged my mother goodbye.

   the ride home was sort of quiet. not uncomfortable, no tension, just pleasant silence, where we both listened to music and the vehicles passing by.

   on the way, my mind raced. i was sure what i wanted to do, i was just contemplating how Will would take it.

"hey, can you stop by the grocery store? i need to grab something."

Will looked at me and smiled. "sure, love."

so, he did and i hopped out of the car. nervously, i stepped into the store and began walking down the aisles, keeping my head down. eventually, i found what i was looking for, but it made me way more confused then i imagined.

"jesus..." i said, under my breath.

"you called?" a familiar voice asked. i jumped and turned around to see the most annoying face ever.

"is this what you call off the grid?"

thalia smiled and folded her arms. "off the grid got boring. i change things up a lot. now i'm here." she looked at the products and shook her head. "nico, nico, nico. are you getting laid?"

"uh, i, uh, um," was all i said.

her eyes softened a little bit. "i'm gonna be sentimental, here, nico," she said, a little sadly. "i know i talk about sex like it's not a big deal, and it's not, but in order for it not to be a big deal, your first time has to be with someone you love. i'm not trying to force a sexuality on you, but i know it's not a girl you should look for first and-"

"it's a boy."

"-i just want you to know that you should at least try kissing a boy first. i mean, just give it a chance-"

"i'm dating a boy."

"-just know that i was confused at first, too. just give it a little try."

"are you done?"

"yep," she said, looking proud.

"while you were giving that speech, which i'm thankful for, i tried to explain that, i have a boyfriend. i'm with a boy. i'm thinking about having sex with that boy. my family knows," i summarized. "about dating the boy. not the sex."

she blinked, relaxing her face and then building a rock again. "I WAS SENTIMENTAL FOR NO REASON?"

"yeah, anyway, you're like a sex addict."

"i guess i am."

"the thing is, it's our first time, and i don't know what size i should get," i said and looked at her desperately. "and i want it to be a surprise...sort of?"

"he's the top?"

"uh...yeah."

she examined me and then said, "yeah. okay, i can help you."

   "wait—you can?"

   she folded her arms and looked at me unimpressed. "i'm going to need his weight, height, age, and birthday."

"you—what?"

"don't question it."