Life is.... hard and frustrating

Entry 1

Well I hated today..... Everyone hates me today... I lost friends..... I wish I could re-do everything.... but I messed up everything.....A fight started between my friend and my ex-friend.... some people threatened that they were going to punch me..... I think I deserve it and sometimes I don't think I do..... my mom is tempted to transfer me to a different school and right now I really want to because I hate this damn school (CHAD).... if anyone reads this from my school I want to say sorry for everything I did today... High school? Love? Life? Friendship? I don't think I want love at this point because you can lose it as quick as lightning...... Love isn't something you need just something you want.... I don't think I want love anymore because it will hurt once it's taken away from you..... I cried once I came home because I lost one person that I loved the most and I don't think they'll trust me anymore after what I've done.... I lost    Skizzlerz  the one person who stuck by me the most....  my sister... I miss her and I want to apologize to her but I don't think she wants to speak to me now.... I guess it's back to being the quiet girl who hides her feelings.... I'm good at that cause sooner or later I'll crack and I'll end up crying because of others..... I honestly learned how to deal with it because nobody is really your friend their just... pretending